menyampah tahap gaban...

aku dah byk kali persuade my darling tuk belikan kitchen toys utk anak2 sbb si my girl rajin sgt kacau aku sms aku buat kerja..tapi, sampai ke saat ini nampaknya, permohonan aku masih belum diluluskan lagi..

so, dek kerana kefrustan tak dapat belikan anak2 mainan...aku cari alternative lain, tgk2 kat suratkhabar to opt yg 2nd hand..aku dah gembira bukan main...bila nampak kat advertisement..

'kitchen toys for sale..£XX only'

dek kerana terexcited..balik dr rumah kak rozie, aku terus kal the relevant person..yg i presume mesti duduk dekat2 aje dgn rumah aku...

1st time aku kal-anak dia yg angkat..kemudian letak tepon semula..
2nd time aku usaha kal lagi sbb aku sangka anak dia main2..dan budak tu terus juga letak tepon..
3rd time aku kal utk cuba nasib..mana tau, mak dia yg akan angkat..tak fasal2 aku dapat hadiah maki hamun..katanya..

'leave us alone!are you the same person who 1st calling??we cant hear your voice..your voice is distorting!'

aku bengang gila2..ingatkan dia nak say sorry ke anak dia dok main tepon..tapi, tak pasal2 aku pulak kene maki..tapi, tak bule nak salahkan dia juga..sbb aku rasa tepon aku pon mmg mengong juga..nama aje nokia n95..tapi, asik sound problem..bukan aku sorang je yg bermasalah begitu..bb sitter aku yg own hp yg sama pon experience the same problem juga..hp dia tu lagila teruk...kkdg aku langsung tak bule dgr suara dia..by the way, hp aku just occasionally je ada masalah...sbb masa aku kal mat salleh bangsat tu..tepon rumah dia pon mcm ade interference..so, tak bulela nak katakan 100% salah tu dr aku..rasa nak menjerit pon ada..nak cakap..

'hey, ko tu dahle mat salleh bangang..tak belajar tinggi..dahle tu suka maki2 org..apa ko ingat bangsa ko tu tahap dewa dan suci sgtke???? sekurang2nya aku takdela merempat mcm ko sampai nak jual2 brg...'

kenapa aku kata mat salleh bengap tu merempat, sbb aku tahu yg duduk area2 rumah aku ni, bukannya ramai yg loaded2 dan educated sgt..itu yg otak mcm kat lutut dan pandai bercourtersy...aku bebel2 dgn my darling..

'bule blahla mat salleh mcm ini..tak hingin aku nak beli brg dia atau nak beli brg mat salleh sampai kene bercalling2 lagi..biar ajela brg dorang ni tak laku sampai bila2..kalu dah mcm ini layanan dorang'

dan aku pernah kene sekali di La senza..org ingat aku mencuri brg...alahai...kalu ikutkan, ramai je mat salleh tu kaki pencuri..kenapa bila tgk muka asia mulala nak fikir yg bukan2..mmm tgk muka mat salleh tu pon aku dah tau..dia tu racist...adalah lagi pengalaman racist aku kat sini...pernah juga aku dulu kene maki dgn mat salleh kat GAP..kkdg dalam hati berkata..apa guna kalu rupa cantik..tapi otak mcm kat tapak kaki!

cerita pasal student...

smlm aku jaga exam utk tutorial david..my darling dah bagitau aku..tak perlu aku nak sibuk2an diri nak tlg david di saat2 aku sendiri kecemasan since sabtu ni kami sekeluarga akan terbang ke spain utk bercuti..rumah aku pon dah macam kapal karam...menyampah aku nak tgk...sekejap je kemas..lepas tu mulala kepah balik...tapi, keadaan rumah aku skrg much betterla dr smlm..

sebenarnya bukan aku tak mahu terima pesanan my darling..cume, aku rasa ada tanggungjawab dalam diri...sbb dulu2 masa nak offer diri tlg david...aku mcm free je spjg masa..tapi, bila david nak minta tlg aku betul2, aku plak yg mengada2 tak free. so, smlm, aku tetap datang membantu david..terus terang aku katakan slps aku involved dalam tutorial david, aku mmg enjoy very much lecturing dan melihat gelagat2student yg mcm2..yg gabrah, yg perasan terror, yg teroverconfident, yg frust dan mcm2lagi..

utk exam smlm, aku mulai appreciate student graduan mesia..cthnya diri aku sendiri..tanpa course2 sprt excel dan msword..kami, still bule explore dan tahu nak guna system tu independently..aku mcm nak tergelak pon ada...bila student2 kami frust tak dapat nak create graph sms exam..sbb ntahla..mungkin aku rasa...this subject is peanut...dan kalu aku yg sit for the exam...kalu tak score 100% pon, aku bule pass with flying colours..ada seorang student fr india, menitiskan air mata sbb tak dapat nak create graph..dan bertanyakan kpd aku..adakah graph tu memberikan markah besar dalam exam kali ini...dalam hati, mmg aku kasihan...tapi, nak buat mcmanalakan..sbb aku pon hanya ass lecterur dan bukannya lecterur...dalam pada tu david bertanyakan kpd aku..adakah aku mengenali sudent tu...kemudian aku katakan..

'i just knowing her in your class'

kemudian aku bertanya kepada diri aku sendiri..adakah aku cukup kuat, kalu melihat org menangis dan merayu markah????

dalam pada tu, aku pon nak memadankan muka...ada seorang student aku yg perasan bagus..sbb tak dapat nak create graph sms exam smlm...he..he..he...kkdg sakit hati juga, jadi lecterur kpd mat salleh ni...mereka2 ni terlalu outspoken dan mungkin juga ada yg racist tambah2 bila lihat aku bertudung..mulala ada yg berkurang ajar walaupon sebenarnya dia nak bertanyakan soalan...apa2pon, aku mmg looking fwd nak menunggu hari esok..sbb student2 aku will sit for exam utk session tersebut..aku nak tgk jugala, sama ada yg perasan terror atau yg berkurang ajar tu, bule buat tak exam dgn jayanya...

Update blog

dah lama aku tak update blog aku..manjang sibuk..dgn hal kerja dan keluarga. Macam tak boleh bernafas pon ada. Rutin aku sejak, bbsitter aku bercuti di Mesia..mmg sgt2 hectic..tapi, aku suka dgn suasana hectic dan adakalanya menekan..sbb tekanan adakalnya membuatkan aku cepat sedar dan mahu semuanya berakhir dgn sepantas mungkin.

aku sgt2 bersyukur ke hadrat ilahi..disaat aku kesusahan begini, aku akhirnya mendapat persetujuan mar to look after my girl. alhamdulillah juga, my girl tak byk ragam..so, tak dela teragak2 mar nak menjaganya sewaktu aku keluar ke library..jauh perjalanan aku hampir setiap hari..pushing stroller my girl dalam 10-15 minutes berjalan kaki ke universiti dalam cuaca sejuk2 begini..kemudian dalam 2.45 aku dah bergerak semula keluar dr bangunan universiti utk ambil my girl semula dan pick up my boy dr skool. Kebetulan hari ini my darling nak buat MOT kereta aku..terpaksala aku lagi berjalan kaki balik slps hantar my boy di pagi hari..kalu ikutkan mmg meletihkan..bila letih, biasala..mula aku cepat sensitif, temper dan tak ada mood. Bila dah terlalu penat, aku sekadar buat kerja2 aku..sama ada kerja rumah dan sekolah tanpa menghiraukan sekeliling...di sekeliling aku, aku lihat pandangannya segalanya kosong..sampai tak terluah aku nak berkata2...

Malam tadi pon, my boy straight tidur malam tak berjaga2 mungkin sbb kepenatan berjalan kaki. My girl pulak, skdr bangun 2 kali hanya nak minum susu...dan dalam pukul 10 mlm smlm tanpa aku paksa2, anak2 kedua2nya belayar tidur... Smlm aku hanya byk buang masa, berborak2 kosong dgn si mar..sbg courtesy...si mar pon ade cadangan nak lanjutkan study di sini..aku just berikan pandangan2 yg termampu..

aku harap, aku akan terus kuat...terus sabar...terus tabah..kkdg aku rasa mcm nak menjerit dan menangis..semuanya sekadar nak mereleasekan pressure yg terlalu byk terkumpul dalam badan aku skrg...tapi, sampai skrg..air mata aku tak tumpah2..jeritan itu hanya terdengar di dalam hati..dalam susah2 begini...mulala aku terkenang mak ..walaupon mak aku bukan tergolong mak mithali sedunia..tapi, tetap aku terkenangkan mak di kala susah begini..walau teringat aku kpd mak, pada masa yg sama tak pula aku nak mengadu, merintih pada mak..sbb aku tak mahu mak susah hati..dan aku tahu..mak aku pon tak belajar tinggi utk tahu taktik2 mengcomfortkan aku..

My girl yg mahu dilayan..

Dah dua hari aku buat kerja sambil jaga my girl..komen aku buat masa ini..sng nak buat kerja sambil jaga anak kecil tambah pula mainan di rumah aku agak membosankan..byk masa bila aku berdepan dgn komputer, my girl akan singgah dekat dgn aku dan minta didukung..kekadangtu bukannya dia nak minta dukung..tapi, dia nak duduk di meja komputer aku..sudahnya, aku mmg langsung tak bule buat kerja..

Kalu ikutkan mmg aku betul2 letih hari ini..tapi, nak buat macamana hidup perlu diteruskan..dan aku pon bukannya ade duit nak simply berikan reason pada my darling utk escape memasak dgn nak makan makanan luar..

Aku sprt biasa dgn rutin hidup aku skrg..celik mata...siap2kan my girl..tapawkan my boy lunch pack..temankan my boy breakfast sementara kkdg tu menunggu my girl bangun..hantar my boy ke skool dgn my girl sekali..balik dr hantar skool my boy, aku melepak depan komputer..tgk benda2 merapu..sambil buat kerja sket2..sambil tu, bagi my girl b/fast..dalam pukul 11.30 aku dah sibuk nak menyediakan makanan my girl pulak..petang dalam pukul 2.45..aku da sibuk2..siap2 nak ambil my boy dr skool...balik dr pick up my boy..aku sibuk2 nak mandikan anak2...bila dorang dah bersih..aku kasik dorang makan..sambil tu prepare2 makanan utk dinner..by the time my darling sampai rumah dalam pukul 6.30 p.m..makanan dah tersedia..anak2 pon dah bersih kebiasaannya..sungguh..mmg sungguh meletihkan..malam hari slps dinner, andai aku lucky..my darling akan tlg cuci pinggan...suapkan my boy makan..vacuum lantai living room....

pukul 7.30, besa sume org dah kenyang makan..sume org bersidai2 depan ruang tamu dan tgk tv...sambil tu, check book bag my boy..ajar sket2 my boy alphabet, figures dan membaca...i was very impressed smlm..coz my boy finally, bule membaca sket2...berdasarkan gambar..

'I am drinking'
'I am eating'
'I am laughing'
'I am crying'
'I am talking'
'I am listening'
'I am yawning'
'I am sleeping'


dalam pukul 8.30 slps my boy lesson session..kami sume akan naik tingkat atas..biasa my darling akan mandi dan aku masih lagi melayan anak2...we normally will have stories time before going to bed.. slps anak2 selamat tidur, kkdg aku sendiri masih lagi tak rehat..kkdg tu kemas bilik pakaian..cuci baju, sidai baju, lipat baju.....itu belum dikira lagi malam dan pagi buta aku masih tak dapat nak lena dan nyenyak tidur...sbb my girl dok bangkit nak mengacau tidur aku....sbb nak negmpeng 3-4 kali...kalu aku larat, malam tu aku berjaga nak buat kerja sekolah plak...membaca, menulis dan memberi komen apa2 yg perlu...

Inila rutin hidup aku sbg isteri dan ibu..

Baking my cheese cake..

Hari ini my girl stay at home with me sbb babysitter aku bz dgn persiapan nak balik mesia selama sebulan..Dalam boring2 aku tak dapat nak concentrate, aku try buat cheese cake..entah menjadi, entah tidak...

My girl pon tak begitu banyak songel...tidur dalam dua kali waktu siang...sbb mungkin malam tadi keletihan sbb 2-3 kali bangkit malam sampai sakit badan aku ini dibuatnya..

Semalam sblm tidur..ada words baru lagi yg my boy belajar..dia dah mulai faham dan baca certain words..pd pendapat aku, perkembangan budak2 ni sebenarnya perlu diasah..sbb sefaham aku..mereka ni sebenarnya dah tersedia diberikan akal..cume, kita sbg parents yg perlu stimulate mereka. Nak kata..my boy membaca secara superb, tidakla juga..sbb baru2 ini saje aku serius nak dia mengenal angka, huruf dan membaca...tapi, yg aku perasan, bila dia dah mula belajar menulis..lagi mudah dia nak mengenal huruf berbanding kalu aku suruh saje dia membaca dan menghafal huruf dan angka sekali lalu....

Hari ini hari Sabtu

Hari ini, hari sabtu..kami sekeluarga hanya duduk diam2 di rumah. Kalu ikutkan plan asal mmg nak keluar bawa anak2 jalan2 dan ambil gambar pemandangan musim autum. Tapi, memandangkan, celik2 mata, suasana di luar nampak mendung..terpaksa dibatalkan niat...terus tarik selimut dan sambung tidur...Diringkaskan cerita, semua org bangkit lewat pagi ini...breakfast pon hanya sekadar pisang dan keledek goreng..itu pon agak lewat dalam pukul 11.30 pagi...

Dalam pukul 2.00 petang, semua org sambung tidur semula...sampai pukul 5.30 ptg. Itu pon, my boy yg kejutkan sbb dia teringat janji aku nak temankan dia makan dalam pukul 4.30 petang. Kesian my boy aku marah2...sbb asik kacau aku nak tidur..last2, dia pon tertidur sekali dgn kami semua..Siap dia belajar nak baca jam dinding sbb nak menagih janji supaya aku bangkit dan temankan dia makan...Bangkit2 dr tidur, dia beritahu aku, skrg dah lebih pukul 4 dgn cerianya dia ready nak makan...

Malam hari, aku sambung sedikit kerja sekolah aku..sambil browse2 thru internet cara2 nak buat cheese cake dan roasted chicken. Kebetulan plak, Tesco sdg buat offer buy 1 get 1 free cheese cake..menambahkan semangat aku lagi nak membuat cheesecake..cume skrg..masalahnya adalah masa...mmmm...bila agaknya aku ada masa nak membuatnya? Sambil tu, aku survey2, dgn sape agaknya aku nak share cheese cake tu nanti..sbb aku agak, mesti kalu aku seorang saje yg mengadap...sudah tentu, aku sorang saje yg makan..sbb setahu aku..my darling mmg jenis orgnya bukan terlalu berapetite macam isterinya...sdg aku browse2 internet dan tunjukkan resepi roasted chicken pada my darling tadi..sambil sengeh2 dia berkata..

'makin membesarla ayang nanti..'

inila masalah aku..terlalu bernafsu dgn makanan..dan kebetulan pula...ade inisiatif nak mencuba resepi itu ini..antara penyumbang aku susah nak kontrol berat badan..sejak open house tempohari, berat aku masih tak stabil..tak susut2...setelah berpuasa 3 hari lepas berturut2..baru nak maintain semula ke 53kgs..itu pon, kalu aku terlebih makan...jarum penimbang tu, mudah je nak naik ke 54kgs. Kalu bule, biarla aku menten 50-51kgs..so, tak dela terasa berat sgt badan aku ni..mentang2 dah pernah rasa berat 50-51kgs.., sekali naik, mula rasa macam tak sedap plak badan ni rasanya...

baru, aku plan nak puasa ganti 4 hari berturut2 utk next week, aku dah peot. So, apa aku bule buat skrg..hanya cuba kurangkan makan malam..makan just yg light2..dan kurangkan juga makanan yg manis2.

skrg jam dah menunjukkan pukul 2.31 pagi...dalam kedinginan malam..aku tatap satu persatu wajah permata hati aku...terasa begitu bahagia dalam hati ini..anak2 adalah penghibur&penyeri hidup..walaupon ada masanya, dorang jugala yg buat aku sakit kepala dan tengkuk. Sejuk hati aku, bila melihat, anak2 aku dah pandai bergurau antara satu sama lain..dan yg pastinya..dan sungguh pastinya..aku dapat rasakan betapa tak ternilainya kasih syg dorang terhadap aku...especially, my boy yg sentiasa setia nak menemankan aku..bila tiba waktu malam..terlalu sukar nak lena tanpa ibunya di sisi...Hari ini aku berjaga lewat malam pon, dia sanggup menunggu di tingkat bawah...dan hanya tidur berlapikkan carpet...begitu juga dgn my girl..terlalu sukar, utk seorang anak itu berpisah dgn ibunya di waktu kecil...dan dalam saat ini, aku rasakan tidak sia2, pengorbanan aku..tak lena dan tak nyenyak tidur siap bersakit2 badan hanya kerana nak menyusukan badan anak2 selama umur mereka 2 tahun..terasa bondingnya itu terlalu kuat..dan sentiasa terngiang2 di ingatan anak2...

dan hari ini juga..merupakan genap seminggu anak2 tidur di bilik mereka sendiri. Kekadang anak2 ini, memang kita tak bule memaksa..bila tiba masanya, dia akan berbuat sesuatu dgn sendirinya...sometimes, aku lihat, my boy semakin sensible..kurang sedikit mengada2nya berbanding dulu..walaupon kkdg makan masih lagi mahu bersuap...malam sebelum tidur..dia sendiri yg minta aku bacakan dia..buku...

'Leap's Big Day'

Dr situ, aku ajar sedikit demi sedikit word2 tertentu..Aku harap, dgn cara ini, dia dapat belajar membaca secara perlahan2...Yg aku pasti, dia sememangnya tidak lagi buta angka..cume, bab2 mengenal a b c, aku agak dia agak sedikit memakan masa...mungkin, sbb di sekolah, tiada latihan intensive ditekankan utk anak2 menulis abjad...jadi, dgn itu, susah sedikit utk my boy nak mengingat. Cume, aku sbg ibu dan my darling sbg ibu dan bapa..perlu sabar...dan tidak terlalu memaksa..sbb, sefaham aku..bila tiba masanya...dia tetap akhirnya bule menulis dan membaca tanpa perlu dipaksa..

Masa yg cepat berlalu

Dah beberapa hari rupa2nya aku tak update blog...tanpa aku sedar, esok dah nak masuk hari Jumaat dan progress aku??? huh! masih buntu..kali ini, aku kene berfikir dgn lebih berhati2 kerana tak mahu analysis dan basis yg aku buat pada kali ini tersilap. AKu kira, ini adalah last analysis utk kerja aku..dan andai kata aku dapat tackle dan complete this part, meaning that, slps ini aku bule menulis dgn aman dan flownya....

Balik dr tutorial, aku dah sibuk nak jumpa Kak Seh sblm dia balik Mesia. Sblm tu, aku singgah ke rumah kawan baru dalam University, Mar namaya..nampak selesala pada pandangan mata aku...rumah dua bilik dalam university...walaupon bayar mahal tapi still come out in the same amount sbb dorang tak payah risau nak fikir nak bayar fasal bil gas, air, api dan broadbent segala..

Slps sejam, di rumah Mar, aku berjumpa dgn Kak Seh...Kak Seh yg sedang sarat pregnant anak ke-3, dgn seronoknya tunjuk kat aku..medela breast pumpnya yg baru..hadiah dr kawannya di London, yg juga sebenarnya bekerja satu dept dgn aku..Balik dr rumah Kak Seh, macam2 yg aku bawak..termasuk bunga balung ayam Kak Seh yg segar bugar dan pokok basil yg aku pon tak pasti sama ada akan terus hidup atau mati bila bertukar tgn empunya..sbb faham2 sajela, aku ni bukannya bertgn hijau..asal tanam pokok..pokok nak gemuk dan besar...biasa byk saje pokok yg aku tanam umurnya tak panjang...kalu yg berumur panjang tu pon, biasanya jenis pokok2 hijau yg tak remeh utk aku menjaganya..

Sampai di rumah, aku rase sungguh2 gembira..aku suka tgk bunga kale2...sekembalinya my darling dari ofis, dia hanya tergelak, bila aku bawak balik bunga...sbb dia faham sgt, isterinya ini bukannya bertgn hijau...takut2 bunga yg segar bugar tu mati di tgh jalan...

Petang for dinner, aku cube masak pizza...menyampah langsung base pizza aku keras..aku pon tak tahu, ini ntah berapa kali percubaan aku yg kurang menjadi..macam nak terbantut aku nak mencuba nak buat base pizza lagi..

Dan hari ini, merupakan hari ke-4 aku berpuasa...so, maknanya ade 5 hari lagi aku nak kene ganti puasa..kalu aku rajin, slps habis ganti puasa ramadhan, bulela aku puasa sunat isnin&khamis...sambil dapat pahala..bule juga, aku kempiskan sket perut aku yg besar ni yg dah macam org pregnant 5 bulan...mudahkan cerita sejak open house kami beberapa minggu lepas..kami suami isteri dan bulat mcm teddy bear..dan hingga kini masih tak settle2 penurunannya lagi...pencernaan aku pon dah kurang lancar, tak tahula sbb kalu aku hentam laksa sejak dua menjak ni..sampai membantutkan proses pencernaan dalam badan....

Cerita hari isnin

Kalu ikutkan blog aku ini bukanla suatu blog yg menarik utk lain membacanya..yelah, aku pon sebenarnya saje2 menulis blog..cthnya, supaya aku bule keep in track, bila masanya perkembangan anak2 aku, begitu juga progress aku, serba sedikit tentang impian aku, tentang suka duka, pahit manis, sakit hati dan marah aku...he..he..he..

Hari ini, aku betul2 keletihan. Keletihannya bermula dr semalam..rumah bersepah, so aku berjaga hingga entah pukul berapa mengemas bilik pakaian aku..baju2 kami yg dah tak ok, aku letakkan dalam plastik sampah sedia utk dibuang dan yg mana2 aku nak simpan, aku dah siap2 asingkan..manalah tahu, bule dipakai utk anak2 aku akan datang...beberapa helai baju Harris yg kecil2 aku dah asingkan utk diberikan kepada anak baby sitter aku..

To my suprise, smlm anak2 minta aku tidurkan mereka di bilik pakaian..dan malam ini pon, Harris siap angkut bantal dan selimut dia bawa ke bilik sebelah macam malam semalam. Smlm, slps anak2 tidur dan aku siap kerja2 rumah, rase macam arghhhhh, leganya dapat tidur dalam bilik dgn my darling saje sorang2, rase safe and sound tak de gangguan bunyi dan rase terkongkong macam sblm2nya..My girl pon, kurang sedikit nak mengempengnya...kalu tidak entah berapa kali dia akan terbangun, sampai aku ibunya pon naik lembik melayan kerenah anak perempuan aku sorang buat stkt ini...Walaupon begitu, my girl tetap bangkit malam 3 kali smlm...Itu pon, sebenarnya yg ke-3 kali my girl bangun sbb dia terjaga dgr bunyi daddynya buka pintu bilik air sms nak menggunakan bilik air. Yg menjadi mangsanya, bila my girl bangun mestila aku..sbb bila dia bangun, dalam kepala dia automatik yg dicarinya dahulu mesti ibunya dan mesti nak pekena susu cap gantung! kali ketiga dia bangun, mmg betul2 dia nak ngempeng sampai aku sendiri tak larat nak layan dan akhirnya terbongkang kat bilik anak2...

Utk hari ini, aku buat eksperimen lagi, cuba bagi my girl minum susu sblm dia tidur bersama2 dgn abgnya..sbb setahu aku, my girl ni tak susah orgnya, byk masa menurut atau meniru saje abgnya, jadinya, kalu aku dapat settlekan abgnya, dgn mudahnya, my girl aku mengikut sama. Termasuk rajin membaca buku dan mendengar cerita. So, I guess, mungkin tak hairan kalu my girl nanti lebih pick up dr abgnya..sbbnya dia selalu dgr in advance aku mengajar abgnya terlebih dahulu, jadi maksudnya, dia akan absorb banyak information terlebih dahulu sms kecil2nya..seusia 1.5 tahun...Kkdg aku perasan, bila aku sibuk melayan Harris membaca, dia akan tak sng hati, mula nak jeles, nak menyempit2 duduk di lap yg sama..sama ada aku sedar atau tak sedar...anak2 aku smmgnya manja...dan sedar tak sedar, dalam kasar2 aku, ada naluri keibuan, sabar melayan kerenah anak2 dan memanjakan mereka. Harris sampai skrg masih tetap manja walaupon dah 4.5 tahun, masih nak tidur bertemankan ibunya, masih mahu disayang2 dan masih mahu dimanja2..Sebenarnya aku tak kisah org nak pandang aku apa...aku rasa, aku sudah semakin redha dan tak ambil pusing, kalu org nak cakap2 di belakang aku...yg anak2 takut dgn aku...by thru of their judgement of my appearance yg serius..sbb segala perlakuan buruk dan baik aku....hanya org yg tinggal sebumbung dan tuhan sahaja yg tahu...begitu juga dgn diri aku..

Ntah kenapa, sejak beberapa menjak ini, aku mulai fokus semula dgn kerja2 sekolah aku. Aku ade guts to check my univ email. Aku rajin dan cube belajar courtesy fr my sv dan pada masa ini, smmgnya inspirasi aku utk kerjaya aku, adalah my current sv selain my x-sv aku during my first degree dulu.

Pagi2 lagi, di hari ini, aku sudah kelam-kabut keluar bandar nak memulang baju anak2 aku di samping nak mencari buku latihan utk Harris di peringkat permulaan. Aku belikan Harris buku utk belajar menulis, membaca, mengira dan mengcolour. Terasa sungguh bahang tanggungjawab sbg seorang ibu utk mendidik anak2 dgn pengetahuan yg perlu supaya di masa depan nanti mereka bakal menjadi seorang yg berguna&beragama. Selain tu, aku belikan Harris mainan utk mula belajar mengenal huruf dan spelling ala2 jigsaw puzzle.

Balik dr bandar, aku masih risau dgn perkembangan anak2 aku. Sempat call sepupu aku, Na dan kakak aku di kampung dan khabarnya mak aku tak berapa sihat dan mungkin akan warded sama ada di hospital Selayang atau pon TAR, Klang. Nampaknya, kesihatan mak aku semakin surut. Tiba2 aku menjadi hiba, harap2nya aku dapat berjumpa dan meluangkan masa bersama2 mak aku hingga di akhir hayatnya. Meski pon, mak aku is a hard person, mak jugala org yg paling aku ingat dan nak meraung dan memanggil namanya pertama kali walau pon hanya di dalam hati, di saat aku dilanda kesedihan dan kesusahan selain Allah s.w.t dan juga my darling. Arghhh, begitu rindunya hati aku dgn mak...tapi, aku sendiri tak cukup kuat nak menelefon mak, di saat dia menangis kerana susah hati. Bukan mudah juga, bagi seorang isteri dan anak kepada seorang ibu, membahagikan masa dan kasihnya antara keluarga suami dan keluarganya sendiri. Kakak aku sendiri bagaikan tersepit, antara nak membahagiakan hati suami dan seorang ibu kerana setiap perlakuan isteri itu perlu mendapat restu seorang suami. Dan, aku sendiri kekadang bingung dan keliru memikirkan, adakah seorang isteri salah apabila banyak masanya diluangkan bersama suami/ keluarga suami dan ibunya itu bukanla dalam list top of priority. Sesungguhnya memang aku bingung dan keliru!

Dalam sibuk2 aku, petang2 walau pon aku dah mati idea, aku sempat nak menyiapkan sherperd pie dr recipe BBC..Sambil tu, aku sempat bake apple cake memandangkan aku sendiri dah naik sesak nafas bila melihat apple yg aku beli 2 minggu lepas byk yg dah kisut2..daripada aku buang, elokla kiranya, aku kerjakan...Sekurang2nya, terjamin perut my darling dan anak2 utk dibawakan sbg bekal...Baru tadi, slps siap baking my apple cake, aku siap2kan lunch pack my darling dan my girl. While for Harris, aku masih berfikir2 sbb anak lelaki aku seorang itu mmg picky sedikit bab2 makan...kekadang aku dah siap2 pack kan..sbb tak kene selera dia, langsung tak mahu dimakan dan dijamahnya..jadi, mmg kene tunggu sampai esok hari, barula aku sng hati nak masukkan makanan apa yg perlu..setahu aku, buah pear mmg makanan yg patut ada dalam lunch pack dia utk esok hari..sbb sms nak kami keluar shopping, mmg buah pear yg disebutnya dr awal masuk perut kereta hinggala kami dah sampai ke dalam tesco.

Cerita pasal tesco, aku ambil kesempatan, ajar Harris tentang buah2an dan aphabet. Rupa2nya, tanpa aku sedari, dia dah kenal perkataan 'TESCO'...dalam hati aku berkata..not bad jugalakan anak aku, tidakla terkebelakang sgt tahap perkembangannya..Apa2pon, sbg seorang ibu, semestinya kita mengharapkan yg terbaik utk anak2 di masa depan mereka...Aminn....

Cerita weekend

Selepas keletihan during weekdays..we finally take a break just staying at home almost of the days during weekend...bersih2 dan kemas2 dalam rumah apa yg patut..cume smlm dr tengahari ke petang kami melawat rumah officemate my darling, Alee the Bangladeshian near to London. Sms di sana, sempat berborak mcm2 including, he encouraged me to wrap up my work eventhou it is only half cooked. Mmmm, very good suggestion. Because as he said, it will never ending since it always have space of improvement and research from time to time. Entah macamana, hari ini pulak, aku terbuka e-mail univ dan nampaknya people fr Merck tu mmg tak putus asa pushing for collaboration. I am not asking for money or funding from them. For me it is more than enough if we could have some works for publications or even maybe if the co. could sponsor me to attend any conferences overseas for free, I will be more than happy. Jeles juga dgr kawan dah sampai Australia, Japan dan New Zealand. Of course, aku pon mesti ternanti2, nak melihat negara org, sekiranya berpeluang.


Petang hari ini, aku dah my girl hanya stay at home. Sambil2 tu aku dah teruja nak menery resepi chocolate cheese cake.

Aku lega

Alhamdulillah, lega..seminar hari ini pon dah berakhir dan poster presentation aku dah settle. Pagi2 lagi aku dah kelam-kabut sakan. Pagi2 lagi dah sibuk melaksanakan tanggungjawab sbg ibu mithali kpd anak2 aku..

Bangkit2 tidur, my girl dah kasik aku hadiah buang air besar dan harris plak dah dr smlm merengek nakkan 'Jolly Ginjar' dia..aku pulak tak sempat nak siapkan Jolly Ginjar tu dr awal sbb kebetulan aku dah misplaced debit card aku. Jadi, aku kene apply baru utk mula bershopping ditambah lagi aku kesibukan beberapa menjak ni utk settlekan tutorial, meeting ngan sv dan siapkan poster.

Yg spoilnya, pagi tadi aku pon bangkit lambat, penangan adik asik bangkit sampai 3 kali sbb hauskan air dan nak asik nak 'mengempeng' dgn aku. Rasa terlalu berat mata aku nak terbuka. Ditambah lagi 2 hari lepas aku berpuasa dan hampir almost everyday for this week aku berjalan kaki ke skool yg mengambil masa dalam 15 minit. Nasib baik aku jumpa dan2, baju blouse ungu aku...size 12..tapi besar malangnya buat aku..tak cukup fit bila nak pakai dgn blazer..tapi, aku belasah pakai jugak..dan oleh kerana pants yg aku order fr m&s pon tak sampai lagi..aku just matchingkan purple blouse aku dgn purple floral skirt. Aku just sempat touch up foundation, compact powder, blusher and lipstick..tak sempat nak bereyeshadow bagai..sbb dah lambat sgt..Hari ini Harris pon sampai lambat di skool. Aku terpaksa singgah juga kedai demi nak siapkan botol Jolly Ginjar anak lelaki kesayangan aku yg manja sakan tu..demi tak nak menghampakan harapan anak lelaki aku yg dah terlalu berharap nak nak membawa Jolly Ginjar dia ke skool pada hari ini..in fact, aku tak de masa nak decorate langsung Ginjar anak aku..walaupon, kalu ikut plan asal...aku dah berangan2 bagai walaupon dalam keadaan kepenatan nak decorate jar tersebut dgn titik2 lilin yg colourful.

Dah beberapa minggu plak my darling asik dok tak sihat..pd masa yg sama, tak sampai hati plak aku nak suruh2 dia nak tolong menyinggah carikan lilin dan belikan sweet ala2 sugus utk harris bawa ke skool keesokan harinya.

Sebenarnya aku benci suasana kelam-kabut..tapi, itula aku..yg dr dulu sampai skrg..last minute type of person. Dlm last2 minute sume idea baru nak terluah segala..Natijahnya, aku harris sampai skool dalam pukul 9.45...dan aku bertolak dr rumah ke kelas tutorial dalam 9.55..sampai kelas tutorial aku dah lewat 10 minutes..tapi, saje buat2 bodoh supaya David tak perasan aku lewat datang...dah nak cakap camne..keadaan tak mengizinkan..Poster pon aku tak sempat nak collect awal2 pagi..jadinya, aku collect dan tampal dalam pukul 11.30 pagi..sebenarnya, again, aku mmg lucky utk kali ini..di saat last minute aku dapat nak settlekan budget approval nak bayarkan poster aku..dan poster aku siap dalam hari yg sama walaupon without lamination.

Malam ini, aku try nego dgn my darling..aku rasa, aku dah nak start putuskan susu buat my girl di waktu malam..sbb aku dah tak larat kene bangkit malam ntah berapa kali..kesannya aku juga sorang yg tak cukup tidur...dan akhirnya, aku bangkit lambat dan kesan yg lain, suma jadual akan jadi semakin kelam kabut..Dalam 15 minutes aku dgr adik macam mengamuk2 bagai..menangis2 sakan...meraung2 sakan..tapi, skrg ni dia dah mulai dia..so, aku agak dia mmg dah tidur..sbb tu juga, aku decide nak buka baby cot aku..supaya adik dapat settle dalam baby cot dia sorang2..tanpa aku perlu nak entertain dia...

Sms seminar tadi..ade seorang student Thai, Ta under my sv mengadu pasal sv aku...aku pon takdela bias mana..just bagi apa2 nasihat membina...dia mengadu kat aku, katanya, sv aku tu tak helpful..hai entahla, aku malas fikir masalah org...tapi, aku just bagitau dia..

'dont be upset..its not necessarily we have to do our lab in the same dept. It is not uncommon, students to perform their tests in other's people lab. But, as usual, it is not easy too, to acces another people facilities, because of course, their students are the first priority'

aku masih ingat lagi mcmana strugglenya aku buat lab masa mengandungkan my boy and my girl..aku kene carry sume materials aku kat another people dept. Mmg, terus terang aku dah tak de hati lagi nak buat sume2 tu lagi..melainkan kalu aku terpaksa...Aku tahu perasaan Ta yg dilemma...tapi, sbg student phd, dia yg kene tetapkan hala tuju research dia sendiri..di samping kene pandai ambil hati kedua2 pihak sv dan co-sv dia..ntahla..macam2 plak dugaannya..aku pon sebenarnya tawakkal saje dgn kerja2 aku..harap2nya sumenya will be smooth sailing jadinya..

Kepenatan..

Lega rasenya aku dah siap prepare poster utk poster presentation esok yg aku prepare hampir 1/2 hari. Walaupon, Amoi yg jaga printing servis tu bising2 pasal aku lambat hantar poster aku utk printing, at least dia masih baik hati nak siapkan poster tersebut by 9.00 a.m tomorrow. Aku masih lagi tak prepare betul2 utk presentation esok. Rasanya, aku main redah saje kot.

Aku pon dah selesai e-mail chairman utk session conference aku di US yg aku suppose present next Monday. Aku tau, chairman aku mmg tensen gila babasla dgn akunye cancellation ni..tapi, tak pela, walaupon last minute, aku tetap ade courtesy nak bagitau. Aku rase, slps ni, mesti org ngk aku mula last minute..segala2nya last minute.

Bila tgh banyak kerja, aku rasa begitu cepat masa berlalu. Biasa aku bergerak ke skool dalam pukul 9.30 ke 10.00 pagi..tapi, nampaknya skrg makin lama, makin lagi awal aku kene bangun. Smlm aku sendiri dah kepenatan, bila masuk pukul 9 malam, aku dah tak larat nak buat kerja dan terus nak masuk tidur. Baby plak asik buat hal, bangkit sampai 3 kali dalam satu malam semata2 nak ngempeng. Aku jadila semakin tak larat. Hingga buatkan aku give up, ingatkan nak ceraikan susu saje si Baby di waktu malam. Kalu dah worst case sgt, aku rase, kalu aku ada kudrat aku nak perah saje susu slps balik skool utk bekalan Baby keesokan harinya...

Tak byk masa sgt yg terluang utk aku..sbb kebiasaannya, aku hanya buat kerja dr pukul 10.00 a.m-2.30 p.m sbb by 3.15p.m aku dah kene terpacul kat skool my boy. Mungkin skrg ni aku cepat letih sbb kene mula berfikir di samping byk berjalan kat skool. Aku dah tak bawak kereta pi skool sebaliknya aku hanya jalan kaki which takes me about 15 minutes by walk. Biasa pon, bila aku jalan kaki, aku rushing dan tak sempat pon nak pandang kiri kanan.

Hari ini, sedang elok komputer ofis aku buat hal. Dalam aku smgt nak buat kerja di ofis, tiba2 di shut down. Aku punyala frust sbb sblm2 ni aku dok puji2 kat depan my darling yg komputer aku ni lagi laju dr our home computer, ngk2 hari2 ni dah jadik kapuut pula.

Balik rumah, slps pick up my boy normally around 3.30 p.m, adakalanya aku browse forum, paling tidak pon, aku rehat2 sekejap dan dalam pukul 4.00 p.m, aku akan prepare masak2 apa yg perlu. Petang tadi pon, aku skdr masak sempoi, sotong masak kicap yg mana aku sendiri pon tak terjamah sbb aku dok sibuk habiskan telur mata kerbau goreng smlm hari kedua aku berbuka puasa ganti.

Bila dah byk keje, aku dah dont bother dgn masalah remeh temeh yg berlaku kat sekeliling aku. Sbb pada aku baik siapkan projek aku dari nak melayan peel org yg terlalu byk masa yg suka merapu yg bukan2.

Aku pon dah dapat solution utk org jaga my baby spjg baby sitter aku tak ada..Harap2nya, aku dapat siapkan dalam secepat mungkin since my mil dah sibuk2 tanya2 bila aku nak habis dan my darling pon dah mula buka plan nak balik Mesia December ni...

Syukur..

syukur alhamdulillah aku pass visa aku...aku submit on 31st Aug dan dapat semula on 30th October. aku ingat chancesnya dah terlalu slim..rupa2nya alhamdulillah pass juga...

Naik berat badan..

Kalu sblm open house..aku menten 50-51kgs..tapi sejak beberapa hari open house..berat aku dah naik jadi up to 54kgs..ntah ape penangannya sampai naik berkgs2 dalam masa 1 minggu. Cepat sgt naik, tapi nak turun punyala payah..aku pon dah malas nak monitor berat badan aku..but, at least aku bule tahu apa sebab musabab berat aku bule nak mendadak secara tiba2..hanya kerana aku makan kek pelbagai jenis dan makan pelbagai jenis..termasuk makan fast food pelbagai jenis..mungkin, slps ni aku kene jaga makan semula..jangan makan berlebihan dan jgn makan junk..

Duduk di office..

Skrg nampaknya aku lagi selesa duduk di ofis. IT staff dah upgradekan komputer aku dan aku really love the feature. Dorang dah update computer aku ke Windows XP dan lagi laju..yeyyeyeyeyey!

Rasa seronok pulak duduk kat ofis..sbb ramai manusia kat sini..jadi, aku tak rasa bengap..dan aku keep talking..biar pon main belasah..at least, I polish my English. Tadi, aku berborak dgn Hadi my companion of tutorial. PhD student from Iran. Very well verse in English tapi dia not admit it. Suprisingly, dia kata his parents not even no English. Then, I was asking him more Qs, why is that you can be fluent in English? Kemudian dia jawap, it is maybe because I was attending English class in my childhood.

Lepas tutorial, aku berjumpa Joanna dan Zigan. Joanna macam biasa minah Portugese yg outspoken dan load orgnya. Tapi, aku tak kisah pon..jawab sahaja soalan2 dia kesemuanya macam biasa..Dia dah offer diri nak buatkan measurement utk aku..sungguhla aku lega..tak kisahla if it can takes up to 2 weeks..as long as dia dah tlg measurekan..So, maknanya skrg aku perlu nak measure another one parameter, the cohesiveness. Than, should be I am done. Aku dah fixkan time to meet sv next week on Wednesday. I guess, sometimes, it is good to make us busy so that we can be more organized. Aku dah beritahu Zigan pasal dia perlu bersihkan apa yg perlu kat lab tu..dan dia kate dia ok..aku just kalu bule nak menghabiskan sisa2 terakhir aku di office ini sbg ingatan aku sblm meninggalkan bumi UK ni...

Penat kene buli..

Aku dah rase letih amat asik kene buli. Jadi, pagi2 ini, lepas bangkit tidur aku bernekad hantar sms dan e-mail kepada mamat german yg suka buat sepah tu..aku geram sungguh, pandai bercakap bukan main..tapi, bab2 cleanliness, main sepah2 gitu je..macam yg aku tuliskan smlm, aku bukannya cleaner free dia nak buat kesemua kerja2 yg dia tinggalkan..Pelik sungguh mamat ni, meja dia bukan main teratur..tapi, bila buat kotor kat tempat org, diala manusia nombor satu...Aku tak tahu apa response dia..setakat ini, mmg ada masa aku memerlukan dia..aku dah karang e-mail aku sebaik mungkin dan harapannya dia tidak akan kecil hati. Habis tu, aku pon dah letih dikuli batakkan dan dipandang serong orang..Malasahnya org lain punya tahi, aku pula ke yg kene cuci??? sedangkan mamat german tu senang2 dapat nama?

Nowadays, my surrounding is very competetive. Susah nak bekerja di kelilingi cerdik pandai..sbb sume pon nak tunjuk cerdik dan menonjolkan diri. Aku tgh contoh sample minah Thai departmate aku kat sini..takdela well verse in English tapi because she can prove she can do well in her research people look up into her. Sebenarnya, budaya di sini mmg berbeza dr Mesia. Kat Mesia, kalu org tak pandai speaking mula orang nak pandang serong. Whereas kat UK ni, people evaluate your work dan bukan hanya your appearance atau byk cakap sahaja. Tapi, kalu org di sini tu..pandai bercakap dan pandai buat kerja...maka, lagi cepatla mereka nak naik pangkat gamaknya.

Bila sv aku beritahu aku yg minah Thai tu doing well because they have regular meeting..aku mulala tension. Aku tension, bila sume org progress better. Bukannya maksud aku nak jeles..tapi, aku terasa macam kebelakang. Sementara sv aku ada kepercayaan terhadap aku, kenapa aku nak sia2kan?? Kalu ikutkan kerja aku ni tinggal sedikit saja, jadi aku kene usaha lebih utk nak menghabiskannya...my darling pon dah letih nak buat follow up dgn aku..

Tapi, skrg nampaknya serius hati aku dah kuat nak balik. Sbb aku tgk my darling mcm dah tak tahan2 nak balik mesia...Mak aku pon dah memanggil2 menanti kepulangan aku sbb tak sabar nak bermain2 dgn cucu2...Mmmmm, lama sungguh perjalanan aku nak dapatkan tittle 'Dr'. Sekurang2nya, aku dah manage nak buang perasaan inferior nak berdiscuss dgn org2 cerdik pandai dan org besar2. Until now, I still keep learning... 3/11 ni aku ada lunch meeting dgn kawan suami aku..dr India..husband&wife-engineer&doktor. I hope, I can do well this time...maksudnya tak kekok bila bercerita dgn mereka nanti..

Visitor

Hari ini aku kene entertain visitor from Crypt. Seorang mathematician, physician and engineer. Mula2, aku pon tak tahu nak borak apa..kemudian di saat2 terakhir, aku mendapat idea ttg potential collabration of research in future. Bila aku dgr tentang research dia..owwcchh...very multidiscplinary people visitor aku kali ini nampaknya..adalah a few bits yg dia explain kat aku yg aku pon tak berapa familiar..tapi aku pernah dgr..dan fahamla juga apa yg disebutkan olehnya..

Yg aku perasan, di sini aku berjumpa dgn org2 yg sgt passionate dgn research, dgn theory dan segalanya..mula2 sv aku introducekan aku kepada dia..wow! katenya..

'This is Nikos from Crypt..he's been joining us in our project in the past years...he is the founder of PHYSICA and new theory of fluids of Navier Stokes and bla..bla..bla..'

Dalam hati aku berkata..bukan calang2 org yg sedang aku berdiskusi dgnnya..cara dia explain katanya dia berminat nak tahu ttg mechanics of breakage due to shearing effects..at very slide shearing that could produce very fine abrasion. Dia berminat nak tahu shearing breakage in microscopic dan macroscopic level...Tak sume juga perkara yg dia tahu..dr segi raut wajah dia...Dia adalah simulator dan aku experimentalis..

Ada juga yg kami bincangkan ttg breakage of 2 dif materials between sugar and sand. Through his knowledge katanya, both materials behave differently. The latter will break and have a group of lump sticking together due to its hydrofilic charateristic and the former will experince creeping breakage due it is very dry material which is slightly of hydrofobic. Mmmm..hebat sungguh explainantion dia yg aku tak jangkau dia akan berikan aku input sedemikian rupa..Siap bercerita bone of each of material..Sefaham aku, bone to structurela maksudnya tu...Kata dia, sugar ni is a bit of plastic deform of material..dan kalu we have a pile of sand..dia akan creepingly crack di tengah berbanding sugar yg dia akan rolling di kiri dan kanan...

Cuma yg aku perasan kali ini, aku mmg lagi cool bila berdepan dgn sume org cerdik pandai..kalu dulu aku rasa..aku adalah manusia terbodoh di dunia..tapi, sebenarnya org yg aku sangka cerdik tu..tak juga sume perkara mereka cerdik juga...ade tu bukannya cerdik mana...tapi, pandai pula memanipulasikan kemampuan dia nak menunjukkan kecerdikan dia yg takdela sehebat mana..pada aku, sume2 ini adalah skill to develop personality how we want to project ourself to others..

Kkdg tu, ada yg aku sangka mereka tu pandai..tapi bercakap rubbish pon iye..apa2 sajela..asalkan mereka bahagia...ade tu, cakap je pandai tapi implementation tak ada. Yg hampehnya, yg pandai bercakap inila yg senang dapat project dan naik di tempat kerja..yg lain tu, yg tak pandai nak projectkan diri sendiri..kene kuli batakkan dgn manusia2 yg lebih bright memanipulasikan org...

Sebenarnya, hari ini aku pon berbulu dgn mamat German yg tak bersihkan betul2 lab aku..aku sakit hati, sbb aku dah suruh dia kemas lab aku, tapi dia buat ala kadar..maknanya mmg diala tu manusia yg buat kotor lab aku selama ini..bagus sgt2la tu..org yg dipuji2 dgn lecterur2 kat sini, rupa2nya dia manusia pengotor di dunia..mmg betul buat aku sakit jiwa macamla aku ni cleaner free nak kene mengemaskan segala kerja2 dia..inila salah satu cth manusia yg pandai memanipulasikan org...mengerjakan org(mengkuli batakkan akula tu maksudnya), nak mengestablishkan/ mempercepatkan kerja dia..Kemudian, manis dan pandai pulak berkata2..sume org pon suka kat dia..mmm...mmg hampeh sungguh!

Aku pon agak lega hari ini..bila dah bagitau sv yg aku tak bule nak attend for Conference di US Nov ni..as usual, dia just bagi aku idea..if I cant make it this year, there will be meeting in New Orleans in April next year...I guess, next year will be 2 big trips for my future career. I am looking fwd to be in Stavanger, Norway in June and New Orleans, US next year..hopefully, if my works are accepted for oral presentation. I suppose, mungkin juga ada di kalangan my officemate and maybe some of my frens yg unhappy bila get to know I always have an opportunity to oversea. Whatever it is, these are my pieces of works..I am deserved for it...kalu, my sv nak sponsor me for free tak kirala if he just wants to sponsor me my flight ticket..I am more than happy..All these are important to upgrade and enhance my future path, so, why not for me to grab it other than I could be able to see other people country??? Mmg itu nawaitu aku..kalu bule nak carik kerja yg dapat melihat byk negara..dan alhamdulliah tuhan memakbulkannya..

David pon nampaknya dah comfortable dgn aku..kalu sblm2 ni dia macam slack dgn aku..now, he looks more happy...mungkin, sbb aku has proved to himself yg aku can cope and commit in my work...cume my sv nak aku lebih commited, so that we can have regular meeting either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Kelas utk esok hari mmg membosankan..dan aku dah dapat agak mesti ramai yg akan bertanya..Sbb for Thursday session dorang mmg suka bertanya..bukannya aku tak suka bertanya...tapi, bila students byk bertanya maknanya bykla kerja aku..dan ade tu, mmg knowledge dorang zero..mmg perlu di assist setiap masa..by the way, I love to keep myself bz..I love people asking..I love to always in move..to offer them my hands and knowledge to make people more knowledgable and smarter..Kkdg bila dah mengajar org, aku rase..mcm otak aku mula berjalan..mcm tak sangka..oh rupa2nya to this extent ability aku rupa2nya yg sblm2 ini aku tak pernah nak polish..ade tu, siap bertanya aku soalan, mcmla aku ini manusia tercerdik di dunia..of course, aku macam bangga juga sbb yg bertanya tu student mat salleh...dan handsome juga orgnya...Mungkin di saat nak habis course, I should take picture with all of them. Sbg kenang2an yg aku pernah mengajar tutorial for international students.

Open house kami...

Akhirnya masa yg ditunggu2 utk kami mengelolakan open house tiba jua..dr awal minggu terasa berdebar nak buat open house dan akhirnya malam ini, segalanya sudah selesai..sampai skrg sbb dah terlalu penat...jam menunjukkan pukul 2.46 pagi, aku masih tak tidur lagi..

sekurang2nya aku mmg puas hati dgn open house kali ini..hampir kesemua menu kami mendapat pujian yg memberangsangkan...dr ayam bakar satay, ayam goreng, kuah kacang, nasi ayam, ayam goreng, kuih bakar, puding roti, kek coklat, kek carrot hinggala ke bubur pulut hitam..semua org kenyang dan puas hati menjamu selera..ramai yg tak sangka, aku punya tenaga sekuat itu nak menyediakan dessert bermacam juadah selain menu berat yg lain

senyum sampai ke telinga my darling bila semua org memuji2 ayam bakar satay yg diperap..ramai yg memberikan pujian menggunung dgn menu nasi ayam aku..termasuk menu yg lain2...antara puji2an tetamu kami...

'ayam bakar sataynya sedap'
'ayam goreng u all sedap, macamana u all buat ye?'
'the best ever nasi ayam'
'kuah cili yg tersedap'
'mmg sedapla kuah cili nasi ayam ni'
'nasi ayam u all mmg best'
'kuah kacang u all mmg sedap..banyak2 tempat kami pergi, inila yg paling sedap sekali yg sy rasa..'
'sedapla kuih bakar dan puding roti u all'

sungguhla kembang kuncup aku mendengarnya...bukan setakat seorang dua yg memberikan puji2an..tapi lebih dr itu..terutama sekali utk menu ayam bakar satay dan nasi ayam kami...sblm2 ini baby sitter aku dah bagi review membina utk menu nasi ayam aku..

'u all mmg bule buka kedai nasi ayam'
'kuah cili u all mmg sedap, mcmana u all buat ye?'

ada yg kelakar tu, sms aku sedap bersiap2 salin baju..ada yg buta2 snap gamba resepi aku dekat notice board..biasala, aku ni suka nak sisip2kan resepi kat dapur sbb aku malas nak buka buku..tapi, aku mmg gerenti, kalu antara tetamu aku yg main cuba2 saje agak2 mana2 resepi kuah cili nasi ayam aku..mmg takkan menjadi..

cume, mungkinla kot laksa aku kurang menjadi sgt..hehhhehehe...ada tu yg aku dgr bercakap sorang2..

'oh pandai memasak rupa2nya dia ni ye'

dalam hati mcm nak tergeletek juga..sbbnya, mungkin org tu sblm2 ni tak sangka yg aku adalah skill memasak sedikit sbyk yg mana dia langsung tak jangka akan kemampuan aku itu..mungkin sbb sblm2 ni, aku tak byk involve aktiviti persatuan di sini..atau pon, biasa dalam mana2 perjumpaan aku cuma duduk diam2, malas nak bercampur2 mahupon contribute masakan macam2..tapi itula dia, sekali kami berdua menunjukkan skill, bukan main menggunung puji2an diberikan..apa2pon, bukanla tujuan blog aku kali ini nak mengangkat diri sendiri..tetapi, terasa sprt kepuasan dalam diri dapat melaksanakan program sebegini atas titik peluh sendiri..

At least dr pengalaman ini, kami dapat tahu setkt mana kemampuan kami..yg kami bule memasak far better dr kedai memasak atau pon paling tidak iras2 org kedai memasak..slps ni, bulela aku prove to my mom..yg aku ni tak hopeless in cooking..at the same time, i meant to show myself, i am much better cook compare my prior marriage. Jadi, mak2 di luar sana, jangan bimbang, kalu anak2 tak pandai sgt memasak sblm anak2 berkahwin..kesemuanya ini adalah learning process..

Aku anggarkan dalam mungkin 70 tetamu yang datang..

Apa2pon, aku amat2 berterima kasih dgn
-Especially my darling yg sporting tolong perapkan ayam bakar satay dan ayam goreng. Eventho, we've been thru a lot of argument before the open house, at very least, here are the outcome with dozens of complimentary from our guest. He reluctantly in the first place to accept friends's help and to include additional menu-nasi ayam and laksa. At last, he has to admit, both suggestion are necessary. Without our friends hands, we perhaps, couldnt do better than this and in fact, the food may be in shortage if we just rely on the ayam bakar satay&nasi impit only.
-Thanks to our children to be so wonderful. Evento for sometimes, especially Baby, she was so cranky and wanted to be cuddle.
-Kak Rosie&family yg ringan tulang rewang di rumah kami pd malam sblm open house dan datang pagi2 di hari open house..dan kemudian datang lagi di malam hari di malam penutup..
-Yan yg tolong masakkan kek carrot&bubur pulut hitam. Walaupon, Yan claimed yg kek carrot tak menjadi dan menjadi bingka..tapi, semua org termasuk diri aku sendiri yg puji kek carrot Yan mmg sedap..terima kasih setinggi2nya sbb sanggup membantu dr pagi sampai ke malam..bantuan dan komitmen Yan pada kali ini mmg sungguh2 aku tak jangka dan bukan dalam plan..tapi sprt tuhan berikan aku assistant di saat2 akhir..
-Aji yg sedia membantu tolong rebuskan nasi impit utk 50 orang
-Kak Azi yg membantu merebus 13 bungkus laksa dan kemas2 dan hidang2. Mmg Kak Azi ringan tulang orgnya..
-Am yg cekap menolong membersih2kan rumah..
-Wahi yg sanggup tolong kemas2 diupacara penutup sambil layan sembang pengalaman tentang persediaan perkahwinan, mertua, housemate dan diet..Good Luck Wahi..semoga segalanya berjalan lancar sprt yg diatur. I am looking forward to see ur wedding if time is promising.
-Gin yg susah2 datang dari jauh, kemas2 apa yg perlu walaupon dah renyah dgn anak2..

Resepi Nasi ayam

Resepi nasi ayam 12 pot utk 15 pot periuk nasi

2.5 inches halia
8 garlic
1 senduk mentega
12 pot beras
5 cube ayam knorr
18 pot stok nasi ayam
minyak bijan

Resepi nasi ayam 12 pot utk 10 pot periuk nasi

2 inches halia
6 garlic
3/4 senduk mentega
8 pot beras
2.5 cube ayam knorr
12 pot stok ayam
minyak bijan

Nota Kaki:
40 pot beras basmathi-anggaran 70-80 orang(berlebih 2 kali makan utk keluarga sendiri)

23 peha ayam(sos tiram, kicap manis, minyak bijan, garam, gula, honey)-[perlu tambahan 7 peha ayam lagi)

sos cili
1 periuk nasi
cili 5 genggam
garam
gula
air stok ayam
halia
garlic

Welcome to Norway..

Aku baru dapat e-mail dr supervisor aku yg there will be conference in Norway that he recommend me to attend. The conference takes place somewhere in June, 2008 and the paper has to be submitted by end of this month. Aku masih menghitung hari dan berfikir dan berfikir, contain apa aku nak tulis utk conference kali. Aku just no idea, wether aku should present for this conference or not sbb aku 50-50 berada di UK ntah berapa lama lagi. But, its not a big deal..kalu aku have to fly to Norway from Malaysia under my supervisor sponsorship pon aku dah more than happy. More glamorious that everbody could envy. Bukanlah maksud aku nak buat org lain jeles dgn aku dgn priviledge yg aku ada..cume, aku khuatir peluang di depan mata aku ini akan membuatkan org kurang sng hati...

Aku benar2 rasa bersyukur, kerana ditunjukkan jalan utk memilih bidang ini yg mana aku rasakan sungguh serasi jiwa aku sendiri. Sblm2 ini aku pernah bekerja di industry..tapi, apalah kelas sgt kalu setakat kerja kat kilang walaupon kita berpangkat eksekutif. Bukannya aku nak look down org yg bekerja kilang...tapi, kilang yg aku kerja ni..memerlukan fizikal yg lasak, baju pon tak bule nak menten bersih sentiasa...dgn keadaan panasnya keje dia line production dan adakala tu kene berjemur disebabkan kene monitor waste water treatment plant kat belakang kilang..itu belum kira lagi kerja tak tentu masa bila water treatment aku overflow..pukul 12 tgh malam, technician call minta tlg solvekan problem...Kkdg aku fikir, inikah pekerjaan yg aku mak aku mahukan??? Lebih gembira tgk anak perempuannya membanting tulang mcm lembu kene cucuk hidung dan berpanas2an bekerja dgn co cina kerana hanya mahukan anaknya itu sentiasa berada di sisi??? Kalu stkt dgn gaji rm 1,400 di kilang cina tu mmg aku takkan ke mana. Keje sajela di co tersebut macam budak sekolah, pagi2 kene punch card, berbaris dan baca ikrar yg cukup membosankan. Kalu ikutkan aku tidakla kisah sgt nak kerja mana2 kilang..as long aku tak perlu mengotorkan baju aku..cthnya kerja di QA/QC yg sekurang2nya aku tidakla perlu berpanas..itu dah cukup memadai..aku rase, in the past, aku yg silap pemahaman..sbb aku sangkakan..bila kita graduate chemical engineering..we suppose to work as a chemical engineer/ production engineer tapi bukan as QA/ QC engineer. I was totally wrong sebenarnya..

Kemudian, atas pertolongan my darling, I've got better job offer di Subang. Multi-national co. Mmg agak prestigious. Tapi, agak membosankan. I was working for 6 mths there. EVenthou, dgn kerja tersebut aku bule mobilize di seluruh Malaysia atas urusan kerja..Kerjanya a bit hectic, mcm tak tentu arah..Sekejap ke utara, sekejap ke selatan. Biasa kalu aku drive kereta kancil mmg aku drive lintang pukang sbb nak kejar masa to be in place on time. Malam2, kkdg aku berjaga nak siapkan tugasan dan siapkan presentation atau pon nak prepare soalan2 client. Pagi2 seawal pukul 6.15 aku dah bangun dan mandi dan kkdg tu nak terpaksa keluar dr rumah sbb nak elakkan jam di 'K'. Life yg bz mcm tu pon aku sebenarnya tak berkenan, walaupon aku bule pakai cantik2..tapi, dalam hati aku ada perasaan bersalah, bila balik rumah, di awal perkahwinan, aku lihat my darling senyum kambing memasak sotong masak kicap utk kami makan malam. Hati aku bagai tersentuh dan aku rasakan sprt aku ini bukan seorang isteri yg sempurna..Mmg, keje tersebut is lavish lifestyle. Malam2 hari kkdg kene entertain client, makan makanan macam2..makanan jepun, makanan cina, mat salleh dan macam2..tapi, aku dapat rasakan its not really me...pada masa yg sama sbb jarak tpt kerjanya yg jauh membuatkan aku lebih bersemangat nak apply keje aku skrg...

Dan skrg, akhirnya aku join education line. Aku rasa life aku lebih merrier. Lebih happy, lebih satisfaction. Aku masih punya masa nak entertain my own family, nak belajar memasak, tak perlu nak punch card, tak perlu nak beratur dan berikrar tapi pada masa yg sama aku dapat peluang utk melihat negara org. Mmg itu sebenarnya, nawaitu aku, aku suka nak memilih kerja yg membolehkan aku melihat negeri atau negara org.

Open house

Kepala aku masih tak berhenti2 berfikir ttg menu apa yg perlu aku masak utk open house nanti. Kalu ikutkan mcm kelakar juga, fikirkan menu nak masak apa mcm fikir ttg masalah dunia pula. Tak habis2 berfikir sejak dr sblm raya. My darling dah decide nak masak ayam bakar satay dan ayam goreng. Menu lain, kuah kacang dan nasi impit mmg kami dah tetapkan. Cuma aku masih berkira2 nak buat menu tambahan lain mcm masak nasi ayam, laksa atau pon soto. Kalu ikutkan perasaan aku ni..mmgla dirasakan sume menu aku nak masak. Persoalannya skrg..mampukah aku??? kudrat cume ade sekerat dua saje-aku dan my darling???

Ada juga kalangan kawan aku yg mengoffer diri..tapi, my darling dah warn awal2..dia kata dia tak suka nak susahkan org kalu buat majlis2 ni...nak minta tlg org buatkan/ masakkan kita apa2..kita yg suruh org datang..biar kita sendiri yg uruskan..Ntahla..Kalu ada kalangan kawan2 aku yg menolong...mungkin aku cume minta tlg yg ringan2 sajela kot..skdr potong2 atau racik sayur2/ buah2 mana2 yg patut..Paling tidak pon, tolong merasa dan kemudian adjustkan apa2 yg patut..

Lepas fikir beberapa kali...aku ingat, mungkin nak abaikan menu nasi ayam yg menyusahkan ni..mungkin aku hanya akan masak laksa dan soto in case of emergency kalu makanan tak cukup. Yg aku seriau tu..takut kita jemput2 org, makanan pula tak cukup..ada yg buat andaian..tetamu dalam 50 org..ade kemungkinan juga tetamu dalam 70 org..dan ade mungkin juga sampai 100 org..tapi, aku skdr budget antara 50-70 org saje..kuah kacang pon aku dah masak siap2..jadi tak dela letih sgt badan aku nanti..Laksa mungkin aku akan masak utk anggaran 20-30 org..Kalu ada...adala..kalu habis..habisla..nak cakap mcm mana..periuk pon ade satu dua saje...harap2 tetamu aku bila ambil makanan nanti jgnla membazir, ambil makanan selambak2 dan kemudian buang...naya plak aku nanti...kalu aku berkesempatan..esok aku aku dah kene mula buat chocolate ganache...sbb dr pembacaan aku mengatakan..lagi lama aku simpan kek ni, dia akan lagi sedap dan moist..sebenarnya ini pertama kali aku nak mencuba resepi baru ni..ntah menjadi..ntah idak..wallahuallam...

Laksa aku dah try masak smlm. Not bad jugala..nak perfect mcm rasa kat kedai tu idakla..tapi, bulela tahan utk sendiri telan.

Bahan2 laksa

-cili kering 8 tangkai
-5 tin tuna dalam sunflower oil
-10 btg daun kesum
-2 btg daun kantan
-1.5-2L air
-1tbs asam jawa
-8 keping asam keping
-1.5-2 inch belacan
-garam secukup rasa

Harris mula belajar membaca

It is almost a week since I met Ms Harvey for Harris's assesment discussion at school last week, Friday. I still remember, how nervous I was when Ms Harvey mentioned to me her expectation to Harris to be able to read and count by July next year. I was rolling my eyes when she showed me the recommended books for Harris to start reading. I was wondering myself, how could I deal with all these as I have never experienced reading English in early age as Harris before. All I knew is learning to read in Malay by suku kata like..ba ba ca ca and so on.

Suprisingly, yesterday, Harris managed to read and recognize certain words like

-slug
-he
-was
-I
-am
-a

I was a bit relief. I thought, I was not going to make it. Everytime, when we spend our time reading together, Harris smiling and says how he wants his mommy to pretend as a teacher and he is as a school boy. Milan as usual, join us in the loop but holding more simple book rather than his brother. She amuse very much her baby's book. For sometimes, I can see, her staring a lot on the pictures try to absorb some inputs in her head.

I found myself, much better to divide my time with my children. I still can get time to browse a book with Milan peacefully without Harris interfere it.

Pening kepala...

Dah berapa hari badan aku tak berapa sedap..kepala aku mcm sakit dan bengap.lidah aku mcm payau..tekak aku mcm loya..dan perut aku macam senak..bau kuah kacang pon aku dah tak bule nak bau..terhidukannya membuatkan perut aku jadi geli2 dan nak muntah..

Agaknya badan aku ni dah terlalu jarang sgt dimasukkan dgn makanan pelbagai mcm..so, bile aku makan berjenis2 makanan di hari raya ni..badan aku mcm dimasuki angin..mcm nak pecah badan dibuatnya pon ade..utk melegakan keadaan, aku telan 3 pil phytonatal di malam hari.....perut aku pon macam membusung...macam org pregnant 5 bulan. Aku tgk, ni ari jela perut aku baru susut sket..mungkin sbb semalam aku tak berapa makan sgt...dan t/hari tadi aku cume hirup sup ayam sayur..Lepas mandi, aku timbang berat, aku dah stabil semula ke 51kgs..yg aku perasan skrg, bila aku minum teh tarik byk2, mmg perut aku mudah kembung dan cepat sgt membesar.

Di musim raya ni, sume org demam open house. Family aku pon tak terkecuali. Ringan je mulut my darling bagitau kawan2 yg kami punya open house akan buat hari Sabtu ni. Letih kkdg aku memikirkan menu apa yg aku nak masak. Sbb dah lama aku fikirkan menu ni sejak dari hari sblm raya lagi. Kalu ikutkan hati, mmg mcm2 jenis yg aku nak masak. Cuma masalahnya skrg, kudrat tu ada atau tidak nak membuatnya. Bila buka majalah lama2, ternampak resepi chocolate torte, aku plak dah berangan nak buat torte jugak..bila terpandang cake chocolate ganche, aku pon teringin nak wat cake chocolate ganache juga..sedangkan, yg nak memasaknya aku seorang saje..mmmm, kita tunggula sampai hujung minggu ni..harap2nya apa yg diplan tu akan menjadi...

Mengantuk,,,

Sejak dua menjak ni..aku mudah sgt nak mengantuk..sewaktu beraya di rumah kak rosie smlm, mata aku dah layu2..mungkin sbb aku keletihan berlari sungguh2 di awal pagi sbb nak mengejar masa sambil tolak stroller milan dr rumah ke skool sbb nak sampai on the dot dalam kelas David. Bukan apa, aku segan dgn David sbb last Wednesday, I was 10 minutes late, so thats y for yesterday I tried my best to perform better to be in the room on time. Right after the class finishes, David seems happy as usual. I guess, David has nothing to comment but he reminds us to for the following week tutorial. Reza is off on next Thursday.

Mlm tadi, I was sleeping late near to 3 a.m. Ntah apa yg aku buat, aku pon kurang pasti. Anyway, we left kak rosie's house around 12.05 a.m. Yg pasti this year Raya is much happening than last year. Sume org memasak tak complete nampak sbb mrk pon macam aku tak sangka yg hari Jumaat raya.

Balik dr beraya, Milan kurang sihat..batuk2 dan demam panas..Bila anak sakit, tidur aku pon tak lena. Letih..dan asyik terjaga2..

Harris macam biasa sibuk dgn aktiviti dia sendiri..nampak mcm happy berkawan dgn anak2 Kak Rosie..tercuit hati aku bila dgr harris berborak dgn anak kak rosie, Arip dlm kereta kami, sms on the way nak balik ke rumah kak Rosia slps beraya dari rumah Deba.

'Abg, lets come to our house. I have Lion King's ball to play at home. You can kick it'

'I have lots and lots of power ranges too'

Lembut saje harris berbicara dgn si abg arip. Aku pulak yg gelak2 sakan. Sbb si Arip dah pon berumur 9 tahun tak silap aku..Mahu lagikah nak melayan bermain power ranges dgn harris? Aku tak sangka plak, harris nak promosi ajak abg arip datang rumah main bola lion king kami yg tak pernah anak2 nak sentuh sgt selama ini..

Aktiviti kami hari ini..mengemas rumah. Habis susunan perabot kami ubah. Mungkin dah sesak nafas sgt bila duduk dlm kawasan rumah sempit. Aku tolong my honey angkat sofa..memang berat sungguh. Jadinya, skrg ruang tamu aku dah tak de sofa. Org datang rumah sume duduk bersila atas lantai lagi mudah...

Eid Mubarak..

I didnt expect today is Eid in UK. I didnt even do my groceries to cook Raya's meals for our fellow friends to come for feast. So, I ended up, just cooking my rice cake and defrost the meats but havent had mood to do the rest.

We still do our everyday routine. I was at school, my darling went to work, Harris stayed till 3.30 in reception and milan was send off to my baby sitter for 2 hours.

This year Eid is more happening than last year. I still can feel the celebration when most of the family students invited us for open house.

Is it an easy job?

For the first I thought being a tutor for ms word is an easy job..just need to be there in class and answer a few questions from students and thats it! But, it is not as simple as that. This week tutorial is much busier than than last week for sure.

I still remember for our first tutorial, there were 4 for of us in the room-Suresh, Thanos, Sam&Me. I was thinking, how relaxing this tutorial's job was..we still could talk to each other among tutors to exchange some informations/ knowledge.

And guess what for today's tutorial??? I even havent had chance to relax neither nor to sneak! The students keep raising and raising their hands begging for help from us. I was like..huh???? moving up and down from one row to another row non-stop. For one time, I tried to sit down, but I just felt, It wasnt right for me to do so because David the lecterur for this subject itself not even was seen to have his break! He kept mobilize and busy as bumble bees all the times...so, why should I, the person who is paid to offer him help to just lay down on the chair and shaking my legs?

Now I learn to understand why David requires more than 2 tutors for this semester. Its been very hectic and I know David may be wasnt happy for my help, as for today I didnt do enough preparation. Dont be worry..I have make sure myself well prepared for tomorrow session...I've done the tutorial myself..it is not a simple tutorial as I thought though in the beginning..it took me more than half an hour to finish it which makes me sceptical when a few students claim to complete the tutorial earlier than I could. Well, I supposed, I've done my job to assist them..I am not in the position to judge their honesty..because in the end, the students themself are the person who need to responsible with what they have been doing.

Malas

Malas betul aku hari ini....malas nak buat kerja rumah yg bertimbun2..tapi, sekurang2nya basuhan baju yg berbakul2 malam tadi sudah aku siap sidaikan..lega hati aku rasanya bila tgk hampir kesemua baju dah hampir kering..kalu aku tak terbangkit kerana kepanasan tak mungkin baju2 tersebut akan tersidai..bila baju dah siap tersidai dan kering..baju nak dilipat plak yg tinggal melambak2..mmmmm fed up kkdg rasenya..bila aku malas, kkdg aku buat saje tutup mata...tapi, semakin lama aku tinggalkan, semakin berpile2 plak keje aku nak kene buat..

Mujur my darling dah siap2 cuci mangkuk tandas..at least aku cume nak kene touch sket2 lantai dan dinding toilet..lipat baju sket2..iron baju dan vacuum lantai..

Hari ni macam lepak sket, sbb my boy jatuh demam dan batuk2, so, tak perlu aku nak terkejar2 nak pi skool my boy pagi2..

Senyum kambing..

Aku rasa, bulan ni dan bulan lepas merupakan bulan yg hectic dan penuh debaran. Berdebar sbb aku baru lepas submit visa to extend stay di sini. Tertekan juga sbb aku jadi tertunggu2 sbb tak pasti dgn visa application status. Termasuk, tertekan bila visa yg aku tunggu2 tu masih dalam process of consideartion sedangkan masa aku terlalu suntuk utk aku pergi ke meeting di US. Selain tu, aku tertekan fasal nak kene submit 1st draft thesis aku by end of this month fasal nak mengejar dateline di samping nak kene siapkan model prediction aku..yg aku kira dah nampak jalan penyelesaiannya..

Kkdg aku rase sprt bodohnya aku keep on hold my analysis terlalu lama sdgkan mmg aku dah tahu dr awal, I am able to make it and finish it on time if I want..mungkin aku orgnya jenis last minute..bila di saat akhir, dalam keadaan terdesak mampu memerah otak utk mendapatkan walau sedikit output. Skrg dah 1.49 pagi aku masih berjaga menyelesaikan apa yg perlu. Dan kalu ikutkan, aku mmg keletihan yg amat sbb sejak beberapa menjak ni mmg aku berjalan kaki ke school. It takes me about 10-15 minutes by foot nak sampai university dan elok plak aku skrg sejak dapat wake up call kene bayar study fees sendiri dan mula terasa bengap bila lama sgt terperuk di rumah buat kerja aku..aku mula rajin2 semula datang ke school. Langkah lain sbg persediaan aku nak brush up my english before my presentation and my examination, aku take part time job(4hrs/ week) kat school sbg assistant lecterur for ms word& ms excel. Dari situ, suppose aku akan develop my communication skills besides able to improve my level of confidence in speaking. Aku beritahu my darling yg life aku skrg a bit hectic and then my darling re-assured me, by making myself busy, I will learn to manage my time better. Sungguh, my new job offer, requires me to be in school everyday excluding Monday and Wednesday. Tghari tadi sms nak jumpa my boss, mmg sejuk gila tak tatau nak kata..berlapis2 baju aku pakai..syukur amat2 aku ade waterproof jacket Nike which my darling bought last year for me that makes my life easier bila hujan2 nak ke school. In fact, skrg pon terasa kesejukannya..kaki aku dah terasa kesejukannya..Esok pagi, dalam 9.00 pagi aku dah kene terjegil ke school lagi sbb nak cari building where the tutorial need to be conducted sbb hari ni aku tak survey langsung pon bangunan tu kat mana..Kkdg aku rase, aku lucky from the others..mmg lucky dr org2 di sini..kenapa aku kata diri aku lucky..sbb aku dah a few times dapat opportunity to attend conference/ meeting overseas..pon boss aku tak kedekut nak sponsor and confident dgn anak buahnya tanpa byk kata..some people kata, boss aku tu bukannya jenis caring..tapi, aku tahu, deep in his heart dia mmg baik hati orgnya..cume, of coursela kita kene selalu approach dia..aku rase dia dah byk tolong aku..so, kenapa plak aku nak spoilkan pertolongan yg dia berikan kpd aku??? Aku katakan, aku lucky lagi..sbb org lain dapat conduct tutorial for 2hrs/ week..tapi seingat aku biasa aku mmg buat keje2 teaching assistant/ lab demo ni mmg akunye man hours dalam 5hrs/ week. Terasa berdebar2 juga aku nak jumpa student2 esok..ntah mcmana agaknya peel student overseas ni..tapi, aku rasa sama aje takde bezanya ngan student di Mesia juga..

Last saturday, sbg preparation to attend the meeting, aku dah kecoh2 kat my darling tentang blazer yg aku nak pakai kali ini. Aku beli blazer tu time sales. Just £25 for the whole set including the skirts..ntah tataula cun ke idak aku nak pakai masa meeting nanti..sejuk2 di US, kata my darling sanggup plak aku nak pakai skirt?? Then, aku bagitau my darling, I just have got no choice coz that was the cheapest that I could get as my other suites just too big for me since I have reduced hell out of more weight after I had my girl. Before this, I was size 12-14, but now I have gone down to 8-10. Bukan nak perasan slim. Tapi, adalah penurunan sket2..as kalu aku nak pakai suite yg besar2 nampak mcm nangka kene bungkus plak nanti..

Today, after meeting with my boss, I was very happy as I have got some solution to rectify my problem and hope I could work harder to finish everything. Selain tu, aku happy fasal my boss kata dia bule sponsor akunye tiket kapal terbang ke US kali ni..yahoo!

Awal pagi..

Hari ini lembaran baru sume org dalam rumah kene bangkit awal. My darling pukul 7.30 has left the house to work. My boy, kul 7.00a.m dah kene bangkit dan mandi. Siap pakai baju oleh kerana kesejukan&mengantuk, my boy, bule tertonggeng menyorok bawak comforter. Kalu ikutkan mata aku pon sama2 berat nak bangun. Dalam 7.30 a.m, aku dah busy spend masa dalam bilik air mandi nak menyegarkan badan. Pukul 7.50 a.m aku dah bersiap2 utk brg2 my girl sbb husband bb sitter aku nak pick my girl pukul 8 a.m. Lucky enough, J datang bersama A..jadi, tidakla aku segan sgt. Kesian juga bila tgk, my girl menangis2 sakan, bila J nak letakkan my girl dalam car seat. Elok plak si A ade di situ...sbb setahu aku mmg my girl takut kat si A sbb katanya si A..mungkin sbb si A berbadan besar kot..

Balik dr hantar my boy, aku berkenalan dgn this new person from Egypt..nampak serious orgnya..strict pon iye..katenya dia study di Egypt dan skrg follow her husband yg further PhD di sini..aku offer her for a ride..tapi, dia decline..mungkin tak mahu nak susahkan org..aku rase mungkin aku akan jalan kaki juga macam org lain hantar dan pick si my boy..tapi, asik tergendala..fasal..hari ni plak spoil baju t-shirt school my boy basah..puas aku gosok nak bagi kering..

Fashion golden rule..

What Not to Wear isn't about the latest fashions, it's about teaching people about personal style, dressing for their shape, and personality and learning how to make the most of their natural assets.

Body Shape
1. Get naked. Then stand in front of a mirror, and ask yourself what you love about your body and what you hate. The things you hate are what will hide; the things you love are the things you can afford to show off. Be honest and objective. What you hate might be the envy of your best friend (consider Susannah's big breasts!)

2. Flat-chested: Most women who are flat-chested have a tendency to carry their weight on their bum. So, show off those arms with a lovely sleeveless round neck top. Most importantly, don't make tits that aren't there. Just accept it and if want to be sexy (and you are in your 30s), show a bit of nipple, gently.

3. Pear-shaped: Never wear jackets that cut you across the arse. Either wear a jacket that ends at the waist (to show your bum off) or wear one to the knee (to cover it up).

4. Short-waisted with long legs: If you have a short body and long legs, chances are you have big tits. Pull up the breasts with a really good bra so they won't accentuate your short waist. Also, wear short jackets that hit the hip-bone.

5. Long body with short legs: Never wear cropped trousers; they make your legs shorter. Layer your top half. Like Trinny, wear a long t-shirt under a sweater to break up your long back. Don't forget to keep your trousers very long, and wear a higher heel to put yourself back in proportion.

6. Large-size: Don't tent yourself and don't be afraid to wear tighter clothes. Try a plunging neckline to show off your beautiful dècolletè.

7. Short neck: Buy deep V or low fronted tops. High necks will only make your neck look shorter.

8. Broad shoulders and slim hips: Buy flat-fronted long trousers and skirts cut on the bias.

In Your Wardrobe
1. Go through your wardrobe and ask yourself "what have I not worn for the past two years." Find those things and chuck 'em in the bin.

2. Play with your clothes. Remember when you were eight in the dressing-up box and you would rearrange your wardrobe by color? New outfits will begin to appear that you wouldn't have considered putting together before.

General Clothing Tips
1. Always wear color with color. Don't wear bright pink or turquoise with black. It cheapens the color. If your main color is plum, then you can wear red, pink, or orange with it. They all look wonderful and you will look taller, skinnier, and far more stylish.

2. Never wear leather trousers unless you are a biker. They have connotations, and however cold it is, you still sweat in the crotch. You'll look like a gunslinger with a wet pubic area. And they hardly flatter anyone's bum.

3. Look at the VPL (Visible Panty Line). Ban all knickers that show through your trousers.

4. Don't wear clinging clothes, but clothes that skim the body and show off shape. No matter what size you are there is always shape there, your wrist or your neck. Whatever ever it is, show it off.

5. Shoes are very important. You can see a woman who is beautifully dressed but can be disappointed by her footwear. If you've got thick ankles never wear an ankle strap across you ankle. Likewise if you've got skinny legs, little teetering heels look like they are going to snap because your body is heavier than your legs.

6. Don't wear lots of eye make-up and lots of lipstick. You want to show off one and let the other fade into the background. The same applies to tits and legs. Show off the tits or show off the legs, not both.

7. No woman over the age of 35 should wear skirts above the knee.

8. Trousers that are slightly too big make you look much skinnier than trousers that are a bit too tight.

what to wear(average hips&thighs)

Abide by the following rules when you hit the high street and we'll make a leggy, supermodel of you yet.

Avoid three-quarter length trousers because they make legs look shorter. Trousers should be full length, falling to the bottom of the heel
Don't wear trousers with turn-ups or wide legs, instead opt for narrow, straight legs or bootcut trousers
Skirts and trousers with high waistbands make legs look longer too.
Create the illusion of height by wearing a top and bottom of the same colour, drawing the eye up and down.
Longer length jackets worn undone also give the illusion of height.
Avoid chunky, ribbed tops that widen rather than lengthen the body.
Wear heels.

If you have shoulders that would put an Olympic swimmer to shame, then try to balance out your body shape to give the illusion of a smaller frame.

Opt for bootleg trousers and fishtail skirts that widen at the bottom of the garment. It will balance out the shoulders.
Wrap-around tops are very flattering if you've got wide shoulders.
Avoid halter-necks which draw attention to shoulders.
Avoid delicate-looking tops, for example, ones with spaghetti straps.

Despite having average-sized boobs, there may be occasions when you want to give the illusion of a fuller bust.

Always wear a bra.
Wear high-necked tops or roll-necks to accentuate your boobs.
Opt for delicate tops with spaghetti straps.
Sleeveless, round-necked tops that show off your arms are great.
Wear tops in a lighter colour than your lower half.

As the proud owner of a fabulously, tiny waist, you must, of course, do everything you can to show it off!

Avoid covering your great asset with long, loose clothing.
Cropped tops draw attention to the waist.
Wear tops that end around the waist.
Don't cover the waist up by wearing high-waisted trousers.

If your tummy isn't a problem area, but isn't necessarily something you would want to draw attention to, use these rules when you go shopping:

Flat-fronted trousers and skirts are really flattering for a larger tummy. Try to avoid pleats and front zips - side and back zips are a much more flattering option.
Low-waisted trousers make stomachs look smaller.
Don't wear anything that's gathered at the waist.
Wear soft, forgiving fabrics that don't cling to the tummy.
Wrap-around tops create folds across the tummy that detract from any other rippling in that area.
Avoid belted jackets and coats. The belt will ride up and give the impression that you're pregnant.

If your hips and thighs are of average size, then you're one of the lucky ones. Flatter this area by avoiding the following clothes, which can visually add pounds to the hips and thighs:

Long dresses and skirts cut on the bias.
Trousers with detail, such as side pockets.
Belted jackets and coats which flare out at the bottom.

If the answer to the question: "Does my bum look big in this?" is a resounding "yes!", then consider the following tips before hitting the high street.

Avoid wearing light colours on your lower half.
Avoid narrow-legged trousers.
Wear longer jackets that fall below the bottom and never wear jackets that end where your bum starts.
Wear jumpers around the waist over trousers to break up the expanse of bottom.
Opt for wide-bottomed trousers with no detail, such as pockets with pinstripes, on the bottom and avoid pleats.

WHAT TO WEAR...

Abide by the following rules when you hit the high street and we'll make a leggy, supermodel of you yet.

Avoid three-quarter length trousers because they make legs look shorter. Trousers should be full length, falling to the bottom of the heel
Don't wear trousers with turn-ups or wide legs, instead opt for narrow, straight legs or bootcut trousers
Skirts and trousers with high waistbands make legs look longer too.
Create the illusion of height by wearing a top and bottom of the same colour, drawing the eye up and down.
Longer length jackets worn undone also give the illusion of height.
Avoid chunky, ribbed tops that widen rather than lengthen the body.
Wear heels.

If you have shoulders that would put an Olympic swimmer to shame, then try to balance out your body shape to give the illusion of a smaller frame.

Opt for bootleg trousers and fishtail skirts that widen at the bottom of the garment. It will balance out the shoulders.
Wrap-around tops are very flattering if you've got wide shoulders.
Avoid halter-necks which draw attention to shoulders.
Avoid delicate-looking tops, for example, ones with spaghetti straps.

Despite having average-sized boobs, there may be occasions when you want to give the illusion of a fuller bust.

Always wear a bra.
Wear high-necked tops or roll-necks to accentuate your boobs.
Opt for delicate tops with spaghetti straps.
Sleeveless, round-necked tops that show off your arms are great.
Wear tops in a lighter colour than your lower half.

As the proud owner of a fabulously, tiny waist, you must, of course, do everything you can to show it off!

Avoid covering your great asset with long, loose clothing.
Cropped tops draw attention to the waist.
Wear tops that end around the waist.
Don't cover the waist up by wearing high-waisted trousers.

If your tummy isn't a problem area, but isn't necessarily something you would want to draw attention to, use these rules when you go shopping:

Flat-fronted trousers and skirts are really flattering for a larger tummy. Try to avoid pleats and front zips - side and back zips are a much more flattering option.
Low-waisted trousers make stomachs look smaller.
Don't wear anything that's gathered at the waist.
Wear soft, forgiving fabrics that don't cling to the tummy.
Wrap-around tops create folds across the tummy that detract from any other rippling in that area.
Avoid belted jackets and coats. The belt will ride up and give the impression that you're pregnant.

While child-bearing hips are great for that earth-mother look, there will be times when you want to conceal your more voluptuous areas.

Don't wear dresses and skirts that cling or are bias-cut.
Avoid narrow-legged trousers and tapered, knee-length skirts.
Avoid belts that pull you in at the waist - you don't want to create an even greater contrast from waist to hip.
Opt for A-line skirts and bootleg trousers that balance out the hips and thighs.
Skirts or dresses with a frilled hem are a flattering choice.
Trousers with detail, such as side pockets, will make you look wider.
Wear slash-necked tops to broaden shoulders and balance out the hips and thighs.
Choose longer line, fitted jackets. Never wear box jackets which emphasise a pear shape.
Avoid cropped tops.
V-necked tops are great for drawing the eye away from the hip area.
Wearing the same colour on the top and bottom is very slimming.

If the answer to the question: "Does my bum look big in this?" is a resounding "yes!", then consider the following tips before hitting the high street.

Avoid wearing light colours on your lower half.
Avoid narrow-legged trousers.
Wear longer jackets that fall below the bottom and never wear jackets that end where your bum starts.
Wear jumpers around the waist over trousers to break up the expanse of bottom.
Opt for wide-bottomed trousers with no detail, such as pockets with pinstripes, on the bottom and avoid pleats.

maidless...

aku rase ok je nak hidup tanpa maid..sbb aku rase, lagi freedom duduk kat rumah..aku tak perlu nak tensen2 kalu maid buat kerja rumah tak mengikut spesifikasi..aku rasa lagi privacy..cume aku rasa maid di mesia ni sukar dipisahkan..sume org nampaknya memerlukan maid..maid ni kkdg memudahkan..ada pro ade consla sebenarnya..tapi entahla, aku rasa rileksla dulu..aku rase, kalu aku ada maid mesti skrg aku dah membesar mcm ikan buntal dan buatkan semakin pemalas dan tak berdisplin..

kkdg aku tertanya2, kenapa aku rasa life aku much easier and controllable sms my boy masih kecil tanpa maid..aku tak kisah nak tolak stroller amik my boy balik dari skool berjalan kaki..semuanya, dgn steadynya aku tempuh tanpa byk rungut..tapi, bila sekali dah ada maid dan kemudian tak de mood, semuanya terasa macam payah nak start semula..dulu2 lepas makan, aku dgn displinnya mesti siap2 lap meja, sapu lantai dan cuci pinggan..dan my darling plak mesti tak lepas nak tolong2 aku dan mesti akan buangkan sisa makanan makanannya sendiri ke tong sampah..my darling tak berkira nak tolong sidai kain mahupon vacuum lantai biarpon hanya sekali-sekala..masing2 tak berkira tukar2 turn nak cuci bilik air...

dan skrg, aku dgn sng hati tak kisah nak mop lantai dapur seminggu 2-3 kali..tak pula aku nak rase susah..cume bila dah ade maid, kerja yg aku buat rutin pon dah dikatanya byk keje dan menyusahkan dorang..hai ntahla...macam2 je alkisah maid ni..

Aku rindu...

Lagi beberapa jam my boy akan pulang dr skool..strange enough, bile my boy tak selalu berada di sisi, aku terasa sprt kehilangan..sblm ini, sms hanya my boy menemani aku buat kerja2 sekolah dan rumah di rumah tanpa my girl di sisi, aku sprt merindui my girl..soalannya di sini, kuatkah aku menghadapi perpisahan sementara mahupon kehilangan mereka selama2nya? bukan hanya bila berjauhan dgn anak2, termasuk juga bila berjauhan dgn my darling..aku tetap terasa sunyi..sepi..dan rindu..walaupon, my darling tiada di sisi aku sewaktu dia keluar bekerja..yelah, siapa tak sayang suami sendiri yang oiii???

Biarpon kkdg bila org yg terdekat dgn diri aku ade di rumah..mereka suka buat aku sakit kepala dan sakit tengkuk..tapi yg nyata, bila mereka tiada..aku jadi seorang perindu..rindu yg amat2..

Yang aku perasan sejak my boy pi skool dan balik pukul 3.20 ptg..aku jadi semakin syg..semakin berlembut hati..kurang sedikit aku nak marah2, tapi aku lebih suka nak belai2..kkdg aku jadi sedih..bila hanya beberapa jam saja aku dapat menghabiskan masa bersama my boy...sbb seingat aku, hari pertama dia pulang dari skool pukul 3.20 ptg..oleh kerana keletihan, my boy tidur awal pukul 7 ptg..aku terasa sprt hampa sbb tak sampai beberapa jam aku bermain2 dgnnya dia dah terlelap tidur..my boy sprt biasa..sprt kanak2 lain yg masih naif..tidak mungkin tahu apa perasaan seorang ibu yg terbuku di hati..yg ibunya ini begitu merinduinya di kala dia tiada di sisi...

Bila my boy ke sekolah, aku mengambil peluang, menghabiskan masa bersama my girl..baru aku ada masa sepenuhnya nak concentrate nak bermain mini-puzzle, shape sorter, stacking dan bacakan buku utk my girl sprt yg mana aku dulu spend masa bersama my boy bila dia sebaya umur dgn my girl skrg..seingat aku, aku byk stimulate my boy lebih awal dr adiknya..bila bilangan anak bertambah, tanggungjawab bertambah..dan pandai2la kita nak membahagi masa dan kasih syg utk meraka yg terdekat dgn kita..

My boy skrg aku lihat semakin matured, ceria..byk yg dia belajar melalui cbeebies..suka nak spend masa dgn komputer..dan perubahan lain sejak my darling byk spend masa dgn my boy..mereka sudah mulai ada connection..he start asking his daddy to accompany him when he wants to sleep..which a good start..for the whole family to settle down as my plan..cume kkdg, kami tak stick to the rule by 9 everybody needs to sleep..mungkin kene buat bit by bit..Kebiasaannya, samaada aku atau my darling akan bacakan sebuah buku sblm anak2 tidur..skrg my girl alhamdulillah nampaknya macam terikut2 abgnya, beriya nak menenguk buku macam nak tembus buku pon ada...

Perkembangan my girl macam biasa semenjak dia duduk bersama aku selalu di rumah..semakin manja..yg aku perasan, dia bule berdikari..periang, lebih lasak berbanding abgnya...mainan kegemarannya skrg adalah winnie the pooh&mini puzzle..

Kalu ikutkan..

Kalu diikut dah nak masuk minggu ke-2 kita berpuasa..aim nak overhaulled perut dan menyusutkan badan nampaknya hanya skdr aim..aim tercapai slps 3 hari berpuasa..tetapi lepas tu, bila aku naik kat penimbang..bebaru ni aku dah put on weight 2kgs...kuhhh smgt...cepat sgt aku naik badan..hairan juga..kalu ikutkan after 3 days fasting, I was 51-52kgs saje..

adakah sbb...

-vitamin yg aku makan?
-byk minum teh tarik?
-byk minum ais?
-kurang/ susah membuang?
-terlalu byk makan?

aku dah listkan sume faktor2 tu..tapi, yg aku perasan kkdg aku terlupa nak makan jamu NR aku..jadinya, aku susah sket aku nak memerut..semenjak berpuasa ni pon aku makan byk..kalah my darling makan kekadang tu..dan dah beberapa menjak kami makan sedap2..sedap2 mengikut mulut kami sendirila..

Selasa
-teh tarik/ air bandung
-puding caramel
-tom yam seafood
-nasi putih


Isnin
-teh tarik
-krispy creme doughnut
-puding caramel
-satu bar kit-kat
-crisp
-buah oren/epal

Ahad
-krispy doughnut
-teh tarik ais
-2 ekor talapia masak masam manis
-crips
-seketul plain chocolate

Sabtu
-teh tarik ais
-2 ekor ikan bawal masam manis
-nasi minyak

Jumaat
-teh tarik ais
-ayam satay
-nasi putih

Khamis
-teh tarik
-ayam satay
-nasi putih
-puding caramel
-triffle

Rabu
-teh tarik
-ayam satay
-nasi putih
-puding caramel

kalu ikutkan bukan aku seorang saje nampak berisi, my darling pon aku ngk sama2 naik montel..so, for surela sbb pemakanan ni gamaknya..

Puasa..

Dah 3 hari kita berpuasa..

Menu kelmarin
Coke
Nasi Paprik daging

Menu smlm
Teh tarik ais/suam(susu evaporated)
Nasi Paprik Daging
Udang goreng tepung
Puding karamel
Buah Limau

Menu hari ini

Sahur
Udang goreng tepung

Buka
Teh tarik ais
Nasi putih
Ayam goreng kontolo(3)
Udang goreng tepung
karipap pusing(4 ketul)

Plan utk esok
Inti karipap/ kuih seri muka
Ayam satay(bakar kat luar)
Teh limau ais

Snail...

My boy is a big fan of snail. He told me snail is one of his best friends ever. When I showed his 1 year old plastisin, he made a family of snail. He explained to me one to another snails that he made as each member in our family-daddy, mommy, himself and his baby sitter...I was impressed to see my boy first creativity using plastisin to demonstrate his imagination and creative thinking. We made the figures together. I helped him a little to roll and soften the plastisin.

Here are the pictures-my boy first creativity's figures-a family of snail..look how gorgeous and cute the figures are. They are made on 6th August, 2007 by my boy...He learned new words related with snail like shell, slug and antena while making his figures.



Am not pretty sure what is it my boy made for-the one sitting on the carpet. Probably nanny snail..hahahaha..

His very chatty now and know how to communicate and gather sentence quite well. Sometimes, his sentence is a mixture of English and Malay. Eventhough, my boy speaks quite later than my other friend's children, but am still happy to see his progress at this stage. His has proven his ability to talk and increase his level of maturity able to speak and response like an adult, although some of his recent words sometimes annoying me like:-

'what are you talking about?'
'i dont know what you are talking'

deep in my heart, it sound harsh on me as a mother. Sometimes, I can see, my boy trying to behave like an adult and manipulating the rules to trick the elder.

I must admit, nowadays, children is not like children in my year. They are smarter and should be told like a matured people. Whatever reason you want to give to them, it should be logic because they can think and they can dispute what we are saying if the reason is not convincing enough.

He loves to draw and to colour. Other than snail, he amaze with insects like ant and spider. He likes worm too. His very excited to see worm wriggling. He can explain transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. He keeps talking about caterpillar tight in cocoon before she changes to butterfly that I have never spoken or even taught about this before. All he learned are from CBEEBIES. He knows almost every single character in CBEEBIES..Sad enough, me as a mother does not know very well who they are except Sam the Fire Engine, Teletubbies, Big Cook, Little Cook..too many to write..His most favoured toy will be his 'Power Rangers' figures, transformer's gun and LEGO. He never been bored with LEGO since he is 1.5 years old. Its really paid off, eventhough LEGO can drive me mad if my boy doesnt store them well. Now, my girl start to follow his brother footstep. Try to stick 1 brick to another brick to make a figure. She is starting to copy his brother to draw and to colour. She really can't see pen/pencil, she will draw everything on it...

Semakin hari..

Semakin hari, semakin cepat masa berlalu..dan diam tak diam..my boy dah pon nak menginjak ke usia 4.5 tahun. This coming Sept dia akan solely attend the class till 3.30 p.m...Aku tgk perangainya lebih matured, kurang bangun malam dan dah dua pagi dia yg mengingatkan aku utk sarapan. Sblm ni apetite my boy teramatla kurang..Pancingla macam2, belum tentu lagi dia nak makan...ntah kenapa, hangin mana datang..skrg dia dah nak mula makan...Kalu aku lambat je bersiap di pagi hari, dia akan naik ke tingkat atas dan carik aku tuk remind...yg dia lapar dan makan makanan yg dia nak makan..perkataan synonym dia buat masa ini..

'mummy, am really hungary'
'what do u want to eat my dear'
'i want my cereal'

Pagi ni, slps mandi, dia nak minta makan biskut coklat di ruang tamu...kemudian, aku cakap tak bule..dgn bijaknya dia cube memanipulasikan, yg kat rumah baby sitter, kakak tu kata kalu nak makan biskut bule makan kat depan...

'mummy, i want my chocolate biscuit'
'we dont have any more my dear, but we do have Marie if you want, but u cant eat here'(sambil aku tunjuk sofa depan tv)
'i want to have my biscuit and watching CBEEBIES'
'ok, if u want ur CBEEBIES, we can eat in the kitchen'
'but kakak says, we can eat at the front my biscuit'
'oh, that was kakak said, but this is what mummy said, u cant have ur biscuit in the living room..this is mummy's house, so, u have to listen to mummy...at kakak's house, u follow what kakak's says, ok'

kemudian, my boy tersipu2..mungkin malu sbb taktik nak makan kat depan dia tak menjadi..In fact, skrg mandi pagi pon aku ta perlu nak struggle dan stress mcm sblmnya..tapi, tula...ini baru development utk kedua hari..we never know what will happen next...

as for my girl, macam biasa tak tahu apa2 sgt..tapi, skrg ni tersgtla kerap bangun malam..sampai sakit badan aku dibuatnya...dek menyusukan dia..

Very the bonsai..

Very the bonsaila aku ni..nama aku dah masuk dalam list of speaker pukul 10 pagi utk conference di US tapi aku masih tak buat bende walau semedang. Baik aku wake up, buat keje lebih sket kalu mmg betul2 berniat nak pi jalan2 US. Tapi dgn cara nila memangkinkan aku buat keje..kalu tak slow ajela aku nak siapkan projek aku macam kura2...Pukul 2.22 pagi..aku kejutkan my darling pasal berita ni..terkejut2 my darling aku kejutkan..

Aku ingat kalu jadi pi US kali ini, aku nak singgah ke New York or Washington kalu berkemampuan. Tgk keadaan..tgk boss aku macamanala..kalu dia nak sponsor aku dah lebih dr bersyukur..kalu dorang tak dapat sponsor tpt tinggal..sponsor tiket dan fee aku dah memadai..

Apa2pon aku dah kembang kuncup sbb dapat golden opportunity pi melawat negara org di samping dapat establish myself internationally..kalu ikutkan, aku kepingin dan amat2 kepingin nak sampai ke Australia dan New Zealand..agak2 ada harapan tak di masa depan..rasenya kalu takat nak pi Australia tu mungkin ada harapan kot...sblm ni mmg boss aku suh pi Australia..tapi dah tak sempat..maka terlepasla peluang...mmg rugi betul! Takpe..pasni kita usaha lebih gigih lagi utk dapat berjalan ke luar..

Age spots

Subject: age spots

I have clusters of black spots on my face -- age spots, I presume. Can I get rid of them? If yes, then is there a natural way of getting rid of them? Thank you, Philippa


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Response from: Sangeetha Ghana,
Council Member on Ammas.com

Philippa,
First, you need to decipher what's an age spot and what's not. There are several types of these unsightly blotches, but one cause is common to all of them, doctors say, and that's sun damage. You may have exposed unprotected skin to ultraviolet rays, whether from a tanning booth, a sunlamp or years of going without sunscreen. In response, your skin has tried to protect itself by producing an overabundance of melanin--the pigmented cells in your skin--in uneven patches.

Chemicals called psoralens are present in foods such as parsley, limes and parsnips. When you handle these foods and then go out in the sun, your skin may be more sensitive and burn more easily where the psoralens touched it. When the little blisters from the burns have healed, age spots may appear in their places.

Antibiotics such as tetracycline (Achromycin), some diuretics (water pills) and antipsychotic medicines such as chlorpromazine (Thorazine) will also cause your skin to produce age spots when it is not protected from the sun.

And if your favorite fragrance or lotion contains musk or bergamot oil, which are common perfume ingredients, it may give you more than a lovely scent. When perfumes or lotions containing these ingredients are applied to sun-exposed areas, they can produce age spots.

The most important thing you can do to stop new age spots from forming is to wear sunscreen--all the time. And an ounce is just about what it takes, dermatologists say.

http://www.mothernature.com/Library…

Home remedies for age spot :-

1)Drink 8 glasses of pure water daily.

2)Vitamin E oil or cod liver oil will reduce coloration when applied to affected areas daily.The best remedy is the cod liver oil.The only thing better is to use it more than once a day.

3)Wash your face with sour milk. Lactic acid will provide gentle peeling effect without irritating or drying your skin.

4)Blemishes and age spots can become fainter by applying lemon juice a few times a day.Dab on some lemon juice onto a cottonball then wipe the dark spots with the juice, twice daily. Do not use if your have dry, or sensitive skin. It may take several weeks of use before the spots will fade.

5)Another great remedy is to rub a piece of red onion onto the spots..it may take a few weeks of use before you see results. 6)Apply a paste of turmeric powder with sugarcane juice to remove wrinkles and to prevent skin ageing.

7)Apply daily, to these darkened areas of the skin, a solution containing 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar and 1 teaspoon of onion juice. According to this home remedy, the spots should begin to fade within 2 weeks.

8)increase your Vitamin C intake! It makes your skin less sensitive to the sun. Foods rich in vitamin C include citrus fruits, apples, green onions, black and red currant, rosehip tea.

9)Limit exposure to the sun and wear a sunscreen daily. Eat a high protein diet made up of 50% raw fruits and vegetables, whole grain cereals, seeds and nuts. Avoid all animal protein foods for 30 days. Avoid caffeine, fried foods, red meat, junk foods, sugar

10)To prevent wrinkles and soften your skin, you could try pure castor oil; it is known to slow down the aging process of the skin.

For free phone consultation visit http://www.skincare-plus.com/overtu…


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Response from: shine s,
Council Member on Ammas.com

Hi,
Yes there are many natural ways to get rid of age spots.

The fastest way is to go for a herbal facial with skin polishing once in 15 days until these marks are gone and then reduce the frequency to once every month.

If you want a home remedy,

1.Wash your face with a himalaya face wash(it's available in the USA).

2.Apply a face pack of mashed papaya mixed with milk cream or milk powder.Use this every day , 15 minutes and then wash it off.

If you have an oily skin, add a few drops of lemon to the above face pack.

3.Make a paste of mint leaves and cucumber and apply on your face and wash after 15 minutes.

Use either one of the face pack in a day,for a good effect use alternate packs everyday.

4.Diet, Nothing new...more fruits, plenty of water, lots of dairy products, honey.

5.Hygeine, Keep your hands always clean, and please keep them off your face.

Good Luck for a glowing skin.


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Response from: hafza ,
Council Member on Ammas.com

Age Spots as a result of a decrease in the number and function of pigment cells in sun-exposed areas. Avoid exposure to sun for long duration. You should use a sunscreen whenever you move out in the sun.
Drink at least ten glasses of water in a day. Drink two glasses of water in the morning when you wake up, before brushing your teeth. Try applying lime (nimbu) to the discoloured area. Do this everyday, and wash off after 15 minutes. You could also apply lime to the affected area at night once in a while, and wash off in the morning when you bathe. Bleaching the affected area once a month will lighten it too. Do not bleach when pregnant. Various creams and lotions that claim to reduce pigmenation are also available. You could try them to see if they work for you. You can prepare this mask by first soaking 1 tablespoon urad dal and 4 almonds in water overnight and then grinding them into a paste. You can then apply this protein mask to your face and wash it off after half an hour. This exceptional protein mask will not only nourish the skin but also bleach it. For natural bleaching: - mix milk and lemon juice. The milk will break as soon as you mix the lemon juice in it. Use that mixture to massage on your body. It works as natural bleaching. Take lemon juice, mixed with gram flour, milk cream and honey for dry skin. Replace milk cream and honey with sandalwood powder and curd for oily to normal skin. Apply it on your face to ensure a clear complexion. Besides natural things and bleaching with hair bleach cream or hydroquninone you can only go to a dermatologist and ask for a high prescription cream for the hyperpigmentation.

Vitamin E applied daly on the pigmentation (in general age spots) will work like a charm, it will take about a week before you start seeing the effect or mix vitEoil with castro oil and appply that on pigmentation.

Sometimes bleaching the area may help too. Its best to use home made bleach, unless for facial hair.

The home bleach: combine two tablespoons of milk powder, mix in a enough liquid hydrogen peroxide to form a thick paste amke sure its not drippy. If your hair is very dark and coarse mix in a couple drops (like two) of liquid ammonia. This is considered to be the least harmful kind of bleach since the powder milk in the mixture moisturizes the skin while bleaching preventing skin burns and other reactions that comes from commercial bleaches.

Natural bleach Mix equal proportions of tomato juice, lemon juice and milk and apply on face and body. A skin tonic The juice of a fresh pear and apple with a few drops of fresh lemon juice acts as a good skin tonic. Mix one tablespoon of honey with two egg whites. Add enough wheat bran or wheat flour to make a paste. Leave for a few minutes then rinse off with warm water.


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Response from: Nisha Danny,
Council Member on Ammas.com

Hello, With aging, many people develop dark spots on their skin, particularly in the sun-exposed areas of the face and back of the hands. Others develop dark spots after pregnancy or trauma, such as an abrasion, insect bite or cut.
If you have dark spots on your skin, check with a dermatologist to make sure that they are harmless and can be left in place. If you hate the way they look, your doctor can remove most elevated dark spots by burning them with an electrocautery, freezing them with liquid nitrogen, destroying them with various acids or removing them by scraping them off. You can go to a dermatologist several times to have your skin peeled with weak acids, such as glycolic acid, which usually remove most of the pigment, but sometimes can make the skin darker.

If the dark spots are not elevated, your doctor can prescribe a special combination cream made by mixing one ounce each of 4% hydroquinone cream, any sunscreen and 0.05% tretinoin cream. You can buy the first two without a prescription. The third component, tretinoin cream, requires a prescription, but you can get along just with glycolic acid, hydroquinone and a sunscreen. The brown spots usually fade after you apply all three creams twice a day for several months.

How to reduce spots: 1.Prevent them from getting worse by using a sunscreen when you go out, paying particular attention to your face and hands. Make sure you choose a sunscreen that blocks UVA and UVB rays and has an SPF of at least 15. Age spots are caused by a lifetime of exposure to the sun, so you can stop them from getting worse by covering up. 2. Wear a long-sleeved shirt and wide-brimmed hat when you know you'll be in the sun. 3. Use an alpha-hydroxy cleanser and lotion on areas of the skin that have age spots. It helps to fade them. 4. Apply a fade cream like Esoterica or Ambi to the skin at night. They help to restore skin to a uniform color. The prescription medication Retin-A works like a fade cream on age spots. 5. Have a dermatologist or cosmetic surgeon remove them with a laser if nothing else works. Best wishes.


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Response from: sri sri,
Featured Member on Ammas.com

Hi Phillippa,
With Skin Lightening Creams, you will experience lightening / whitening effects on the face, skin, under the eyes, hands, legs, elbows, knees, ankles etc -

Works on all skin types, black, white, asian, indian, Also gives a great improvement on stretch marks, scars, age spots and other pigmentation problems ·· Skin Lightening Cream is effective for dry skin, rough skin, irritated skin, sensitive skin and oily skin. Levels fine lines and lightens dark spots from sun damage. Use daily with moisturizer for the best results.

ALSO WORKS ON IMPROVING SKIN SMOOTHNESS - (i.e DARKER SKIN AREAS CAUSED BY ACNE).

If you have any black spots on your face and skin due to harsh products, pregnancy and other causes, Skin Lightening Cream will effectively clear them in a few weeks. Rapidly and effectively lightens knees, elbows, ankles and hard to lighten areas for a more uniform skin complexion. Our lightening ingredients work with 100% Natural fruit acids and Aloe Butter to clear the skin and heal damaged cells giving you a wonderful even skin complexion

Contains no Hydroquinone, No steroids, no harsh chemicals. Please be wary of lightening products containing extracts such as hydroquinone, kojic acid, and arbutin. Some of these ingredients are known to cause long lasting and damaging effects, and some of which are banned for sale in the United Kingdom. We are pleased to be able to provide this new formula that contains only 100% Natural & Herbal Extracts.

Skin lightening agents can also be used to treat local hyperpigmentation or spots that are caused by local increase in melanin synthesis or uneven distribution. -

How long before the results are visible?

You will be able to notice changes in tone within a just a few short weeks of use. Total results will depend on the skin type and color. Some very dark individuals might not see any effects until several weeks have passed.

Are there any side-effects?

Not at all. All the ingredients are completely natural, and you should make sure that when you do use a lightening product that the ingredients are all natural, as is the case with our Skin Lightening Cream.

How long will the results last?

The lightening results may last forever. All you need is intermittent maintenance. Also avoid staying out longer in the sun than necessary. Suns rays will cause skin re-darkening. Ultraviolet rays has the effects of accelerating melanin production in the body.

Will this work for all skin colours (Black & Asian skin tones, in the same way as white)?

Skin Lightening Cream will lighten all nationalities, black, whites, Asians, etc. However the lightening results may be more rapid in certain skin types than others; and may also take a longer time to show in some darker skin tones.

Do I need to use sun screening agent with this product?

Yes, you need to apply a sunscreen before, otherwise the benefits gained will be lost. Be sure to apply a strong suncreen product to avoid losing the results of this Skin Lightening Cream.

Why has ALOE been added to the formulation?

Aloe is well known for it's benefits to skin care. Components of Aloe Vera have been found to reverse degenerative skin changes by stimulating collagen and elastin synthesis, in essence turning back the clock on the effects aging has on skin. One of the main reasons Aloe Vera has become so popular is that it possesses incredible moisturizing properties. Studies show that Aloe Vera improves the skin's ability to hydrate itself, aids in the removal of dead skin cells and has an effective penetrating ability that helps transport healthy substances through the skin. Aloe Vera is currently one of the most important ingredients in the cosmetics industry, being utilized in over 95% of the dermatologically valuable extracts manufactured worldwide.

TESTIMONIALS

This Skin Lightening Cream is different, and it doesn't seem to have any side-effects. Noticeable good results, without any of the stinging feelings as with other products.


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Response from: Anand V,
Council Member on Ammas.com

Hi Phillipa,
Age spots, also called liver spots, increase in number as we get older. By definition, they are flat patches of increased pigment, like freckles.

Though cosmetically worrisome, age spots are not threatening and do not need to be treated. On the other hand, it is no coincidence that age spots commonly appear on the backs of hands and necks, forearms and the face, all places that receive the most sun exposure. "Age spots are a reflection of significant sun damage.

Try these home remedies for Black Spots:

1)mix rice flour with curd and apply on the area. Rub gently on the skin. Let it dry and wash off with water. However, this mixture should not be applied around the eyes.

2)Wash your face with BROWN SUGAR, every twice a day 4 a week, if the marks are not from pimples then just used raw coca butter.

3)wash your face with hot water, dry it, and then soon after, on either side of the black spot, apply pressure with your fingers, and stuff should come out of your pores

)Make a paste of either half a piece of nutmeg/ six to eight jamun seeds with water/ rose water. Apply on your face. Leave to dry. Then, wash with cold water and pat dry.

5)Squeeze half a fresh lemon into one glass of freshly boiled milk. Leave for half and hour, then apply on your face before retiring to bed. 6)Take 125 ml (¾ cup) of tomato juice and squeeze in half a lemon. Add five to seven mashed mint leaves and black salt to taste.

Drink this every morning and evening for at least one week. It will help detoxify the body. It also helps to relieve constipation and worm infestation.

If you have a combination skin - Dry + Oily skin -try these home remedies:

Mix 3-4 tablespoons of Multani mitti (Fuller's Earth) with 8-10 ground pudina (mint) leaves. Freeze the pack overnight.

Keep outside for 10-15 minutes and then apply on your face. After 10-15 minutes, wash off and pat dry. It helps in cooling and cleansing your skin.

Boil a handful of lemon grass leaves in one litre of water, until you get the aroma. Then, place in an ice tray and freeze.

After returning home from work or an outing, rub a lemon grass ice cube all over your face. It cleanses the dirt and grime accumulated in your skin's pores and shuts them


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Response from: simmer preet,
Council Member on Ask Agent

Dear Philipa,No matter what kind of age spots you have, they can all be treated.
Removal is the only way to make unwanted spots disappear totally. Doctors have many techniques at their disposal, including freezing with liquid nitrogen, laser removal, or surgical removal. Acid-based creams can also help.

Certain ingredients used over and over again in the hold herbal body care formulas for this problem. The ingredients include vitamin E, aloe vera gel, fruit acids such as lemon juice and organic apply cider vinegar, enzymes such as papaya and pineapple, witch hazel, and horseradish mixed with lemon juice, or milk.

Annie Berthold-Bond, Care2.com Producer, Green Living Channels says age spots significantly diminish over a number of months using lemon juice as an astringent and an aloe vera gel and glycerin moisturizer (3/4 parts aloe vera gel, 1/4 part natural vegetable glycerin).

Also long-term treatment with lemon oil will provide visible improvement when applied topically, as it works to gradually lighten age spots. This blend may also lightly bleach pigmentation and freckles.

*Have all spots/moles checked regularly by your doctor, and any changes in freckle colour or size should be monitored.


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Response from: ambreen AZHAR,
Council Member on Ammas.com

try lime juice,,,,almond oilis gud for skin try this,,,take anti-aging facial,

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Response from: pallavi sidella,
Council Member on Ammas.com

use scrub regularly for the face after some weeks u will notice the difference. U can even use this: put some lime juice or tomato jucie or combination or the orange peel powder to the face, wash with luke warm water after 15 minutes .

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Response from: Usha Gurnani,
Council Member on Ammas.com

You have to be sure what the black spots are before you start any home remedies.

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Response from: my advice,
Featured Member on Ammas.com

hi, you can surely get rid of them by using herbal/home made mask or face packs but it requires a constant practice. if you don't continue applyiing those mask or face pack which suits to your skin you are not likely to get rid of those spots. papaya is the best anti aging fruit. eat it if you like it and also apply it on your face. for applying this ,cut it in pices and mash it all ,apply it on your face , leave it, scrub a little by your hand and wash off. if you can get shahanaz hussain herbal mask, it will work good for you. try to do regular monthly facial with good massage cream and face pack. make a habit to use scrub once or twice in a week.apricot scrub is good one, ckeck it if it suits to your skin otherwise you can aslo make scrub at home. you can use rice powder or suji/rawa powder as a base and mix it with milk/rose water/simple water as per your skin type and scrub it on your face/body and wash off. drink lot of water and fluids. consume green salad/vegetables as much as you like. have a positive attitude and try to keep engage in your favourite activities. i have seen many people who do this, looks fresh and spot less. may be it is called the feeling which comes from inside and shows on our face. i know sometimes it is very difficult to do this while lot of obstacles are surrounded us but this is called life with ups and downs. so do not worry much and wear a smile on your face and do apply those mask/face packs which suit to your skin. yes... i forgot to mention one thing as check if there is any harmonal disbalance as this also badly affect on us hence we get some kind of problems in the result of acne/spots/marks etc. keep your hemeoglobin good and go for regular medical check up. hope this helps

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Response from: Sundori ,
Council Member on Ammas.com

Dear Philippa,
To be honest, it is quite hard to get rid of age spots. But possible. First of all, prevent their appearance by using a good anti-aging cream (try LOreal, Living Nature, Estee Lauder, Dior) and make sure that it contains SPF of at least 15 during the day. Use heacier cream at night. Also, keep your diet healthy and rich in fruit, veggies, nuts, seeds, lentils and fish, drink lots of water and take regular excercise.

Try this face mask after cleansing and exfoliation twice a week: mash some green papaya and mix 1 tb of it with 1 tb mashed avocado and 1 tsp honey. Apply for 20 minutes and relax before washing off.

Furthermore, try Palmers Fade Cream few times a week just on the affected areas, it works for age spots and pigmentation.

Good luck!


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