Thursday, April 29, 2010

Hari smlm yg mengstresskan..

Smlm merupakan hari yg mengstresskan bagi aku. I was sleeping late at 5 am. Rushing to send my eldest son to school together wif Baby Daniel. It was pity because most of the time Baby Daniel was staying at home that made me to decide to let him breathe the outside air by bringing him in my trip to Harris's school. Back from sending Harris, I was in hurry to the hospital to check up. Feeling excited to know my baby gender.

When I was lying in the doctor's bed, had my scan..I was so upset to know, I was carrying a baby boy again. I was feeling upside down thinking that... this like never ending story for me to get pregnant again. I was hoping to have a girl, but the fact, has shown its a boy again. I felt so stress..so devastated..just because I dont feel like myself ready to become pregnant again for the 5th time for getting a girl for 2nd time. I felt so hopeless...feeling like my exhaustion never ends..I believe, I still can cope well having 4 young kids at this time..For more than 4??? I cant really answer...

This disturbance emotion never ends...again, when I came to know how fast my body weight is accelerating from day to day. I am now has transformed into a penguin preganant mom piling up to 67kgs! and am just only 5 mths pregnant, which mean that I may still have possibility to add another 20kgs as what I did before in my last pregnancy! Its really daunting when you are trying to imagine how you will look like when you are 87kgs as a petite lady...and It can be more pressure, when you start thinking how misreable my life will be while struggling to get my body shape again after having my baby...

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