August, 2012 is coming

Its been long silent since i've last visited this blog...writting about the friction that i did encounter wif lil bro..now, the problem sorted out..but, here we go another issue is coming in...not related to wif my lil bro though...its more about something else and nothing related as well wif my happy family..no worries..i believe..theres always light by end of the tunnel..no matter how hard is the situation, i'm positively thought..we will finally find the solution...eventhough, i may emotianally distracted..i guess, i could back to concentrate with my work and enjoy every seconds of my life.. Trust me or not..rara is now over 6 mos..shes rolling and learning to lift her body to prepare herself to crawl..and honestly..i enjoy every moments spending time with my child..eventhough i cant really tell you..how tiring is my life without bibik in my our family..but, rest assured..am totally happier that i did whenever i have bibik..cause i was feeling more stressfully having stranger in my house..especially if her commitment and quality of works below than my expectations.. While my baby is becoming more chatty..he talks a lot..until i cant stop..hes been funny and cheeky boy since he is 3...i presume, thats pretty common for kids around that age as i had experienced with milan..most of the time, we need to be in cool position to control the emotion for not easily getting angry when shes doing wrong...yeah...wrong in the meaning of being naughty and cause damages and people surrounding her to cry...of course during that time..bibik will be the victim to answer of her wrong doing...especially when we suffer with losses and damages due to bibik negligence in looking after her...hahah.. Mika is going to be 2 in this Sept..he is lesser sensitive but yet still adores his mommy more than anyone else..the funny thing about him..he likes to copy whatever his siblings do..no matter...the way they talk or move..seems to us..he is a happy toddler..like to help others..understand simple instruction..and believe me or not..hes been mommy little helper! Harris is getting matured...hes infact attended his white belt Taekwando exam last nite..hes been so sensitive with whatever his cousins have or talking about..and for sometimes can be so demanding when he starts doing comparison between him and his cousins...i know..it sometimes can be very unfair to him..unfair in terms of..he cant enjoy very much his child time...as what his cousins did..cause at the moment..we do not have maid...so, he definitely needs to be more independent that his cousin..helping his mom to care her lil bros and lil sis... TBC

friction..friction..

I had friction 2day wif my lil bro..dan terus terang mmg aku kecewa to read his sms reply. But, knowing my lil bro since he is young..then, aku takdela nak emo sgt..cume, pd permulaan i was reading his sms aku terasa sgt2la terbakar.. perasaan terbakar itu tersgt2la meluap2 sampai aku rasa mcm nak meletup dan mengigil2 sambil driving..sampai aku x lalu nak makan dan berfikir lebih waras lagi..di saat ni mulala aku benci dgn post pekerjaan aku sbg HR..HR yg nak kene bergado dgn org or settlekan problem staff termasuk adik aku sendiri.. Dr sini aku belajar..baik ajela..x yah nak baik ati or concern sgt ttg future adik beradik. let them draw their future by themself dan lepas neh takdela masalah nak fingerpointing..tp, as a sister aku rasa..aku da buat yg terbaik for them..apa yg dia nak minta tlg..aku da tlg..if in the past he said..he was not happy to work with pipeline..then, kami usahakan juga carikan lubang utk dia work as according to his qualification as electrical engineering graduate. after been working wif us as graduate trainee..he left us and work wif our fren co as an instrument engineer...cumenya, he was unfortunate and rasa secure tak menentu cause recently his company starts to pay their salary late till 15th of April and he was very concern yg co dia tak dapat project, xde certification ISO as well as Petronas License. Yelah, mmgle our co has been accredited with those certs...tp, itupon bukan jaminan yg we always getting job fr outside.. People see org bisnes neh sng and byk duit..but, when looking into the mthly capital..then, only people can realize bukannya sng nak niaga..nak2 bebudak zaman skrg yg dok fikir..baru setaun jagung da minta gaji sampai ribu2 lemon..walhal experience takat tak sampai setaun.. Actually, the problem is simple..hes been working part time wif us..and he feels so annoyed sbb my staff keeps ctcting him several times for 10x per week to make follow up of his progress. tp, aku rasakan mcm ade sesuatu yg bothering him membuatkan dia tak kisah akan lansung nak amik his progress payment sbb aku pon da tahap fed up..yg aku tau..aku nak bank in jek terus ke akaun dia..and let the project close..

aku fed-up..

skrg jam da menunjukkan pukul 4:08 a.m..tapi, aku masih lagi tak lelapkan mata..bukan sbb aku x mengantuk..tapi, disebabkan oleh aku terlalu letih. hari ini merupakan hari pertabalan agung..pon, aku tetap pi kerja..reason being-ini sajela masa yg aku ade utk cilok pi opis siap bawa my dear Sara..sekali sekala ade jugala si baby merengek..dok buat kije sambil jaga baby sampai aku tak menang tangan nak pump susu badan..takat bawak breastpump memberat2kan bahu...bukan aku tak mahu nak pump susu..tp, aku rasa cam tak cukup masa nak pi cuci breast pump aku dan kemudiannya nak lap2 sampai kering sblm digunakan..inilah masalahnya bila pakai pump medela freestyle..certain parts nak kene make sure kering..kalu idak mulala dia takkan pump efficiently...cadangnya, esok pagi ajela while waiting the van to pick up my son to KAFA..masa tulah aku amik peluang to pump susu kat tingkat bawah..malam tadi pon aku tak sempat nak pump susu..disebabkan oleh balik umah MIL je da dekat kul 12..fed up..fed up..sejak beranak 5 dgn ketiadaan maid..aku rasa mcm tak cukup masa..paling aku fed up..umah asik aje nak dikemas spjg masa..letih tatau nak cakap ape..setakat 1-2 hari ajela bule menten OK..da lepas tu mulala tonggang terbalik semula..i wasnt planned to take cleaner for more than 3 times..sbb, bila derang ade..mulala aku pon turut sama nak pi wat kije..end up, tiap kali pas cleaner balik..aku pon sama pengsan..rasa mcm nak bobok kat atas katil sambil pasang air cond..itu lom lagi masa aku been occupied with pumping my breastmilk..yg mana besanya aku buat dlm 2-3 kali sehari..most likely sehari adela 3x aku mengepam..letih u know! i'm totally flat! nak2 aku lak baru baik dr masalah keracunan makanan..sampai naik demam dan sengal2 aku dikerjakan bakteria campuran telur dan tomato busuk..walo hanya makan sket..tp, effectnya..mak aiii...sampai aku susut jadik 64.2kg! bunyinya mcm menarik tapi, hanya tuhan saje yg tahu...betapa hazabnya aku masa tu...temperature naik and till now tekak aku mcm sakit..tataula ape hal..mebe, sbb toksin2 tu tak habis lg keluar..dok terkumpul dlm perut aku..since utk hari ni saje.. aku takde berak2 spjg hari..

overall, aku suka jugala wat kije2 umah..but, since aku takdela totally fit lagi..on 26/04 baru aku complete 100 days berpantang..makanya, aku takdela keen sgt nak wat kije buruh am lagi...nak2 baru lepas dr berpenyakit...pagi tadi jek celik mata aku da pi cuci baju baby n my lingerie pakai tangan, dok pam susu, pi cuci baju pakai mesin, mandikan baby dan sidai baju...paling aku stress bilamana aku nak kene pack keperluan bebrg bebudak tu sume sblm kami bergerak ke mana2..cthnya, mcm ari neh..aku tinggalkan bebudak ke umah mentua aku dan bawak Sara ke ofis..dan oleh krn aku hv to pump my milk 2-3 times a day..maka, terpaksala aku usung breastpump aku sekali..bayangkanla..mana nk sedian baju dan pampers bebudak, bekalan susu badan for Mika, susu tepung for Danny, bottle warmer, breast pump, coolant and the liners...seriously buat aku stress dan rasa mcm nak marah2..aku marah2 mebe..sbb, aku penat dgn kerja yg tak putus2...nak2 lak ngan aku yg tak lagi recover lg fr my sickness...bangun pagi..ya Allah, rasa tulang aku sakit yg banget2..mcm tak boleh nak bangun..and yet, esok pagi..utk hilangkan ngantuk..kenala aku berjaga...dok, iron baju sampai cleaner aku sampai..dlm pukul 9-10 pagi..sbnr2nya..aku tak perlu nak rasa stress banget2..kalu aku da siap2kan sume bbrg tu dr awal..tp, masalahnya..smlm mmg aku flat gila2..sbb, aku asik dok berak2..sampai lemah lg terkulai..tak boleh nak bergerak2 sgt..itu belum dicampur lagi dok kene sakit kepala..

cam ni ari..patutnya, aku da kene sediakan bekalan air anak2 siang..tp, oleh krn aku sgt2 kepenatan..makanya, aku tak terbuat apa yg patutnya aku buat..sampai2 jek dr umah MIL..aku terus kuarkan baju kat washing mashine..dan masukkan baju dlm bakul..pehtu pi cuci pinggan mangkuk cawan yg berlambak kat sink..sbb, aku tak sempat nak kemaskan sblm pi opis tadi..lepas siap aku clearkan sink..aku wat kije lain..dok sortingkan my extra EBM to the liners utk difrozenkan..and then aku kuarkan my coolant block dan gantikan yg baru...siap satu kerja...aku pi sidai baju..mana baju2 kering..aku dok campak2 jek kat mana2 tpt yg aku nak campak..sbb, aku da kepenatan gila..sib baik, my honey nak tolong mandikan dan tukarkan baju si Sara..mungkin sbb, dia nampak aku da habis letih..yg tadinya dr jam 5 ke 9.45 malam dok wat kije2 opis..dan aku pon sama fed up ngan kije2 opis yg tak putus2..rasa nak je aku menjerit n settlekan closing account neh cepat2..sbb, aku nak move to my other task...hah..yer...my promise to my ex-supervisor yg da berpostpone ntah ke berapa ratus kali...sampai da naik setahun masa berlalu..jadi, aku berharap2 sgtla yg aku bule settle by saturday..sbb pasni aku nak kene visit Petronas License dan MOF and oso nak kene curi masa nak register for Co..yer, aku fed up and boring hoccay..cause aku penat fizikal dan mentally, aku tak berapa nak bole berfikir..mebe, sbb aku da mengong and short circuit sket!

Things that i like to do for my family..:

1) lipat baju..tp, nyampah nak masukkan baju ke tpt masing2..dan baju yang paling aku tak suka nak lipat is sleepsuit..sbb, aku jenuh nak membutangkan baju..baru kendiannya aku leh lipat sleepsuit tu dgn betul..

2) cuci baju baby and my lingerie pakai tangan walo agak letih sbb nak kene bilas bbrp kali..**sorrylah..aku mmg kkdg ada masalah was2 ttg kebersihan..tu yg besanya aku bilas baju sampai 2-3 kali..bilas guna 2-3 baldi kekdahnya..

3) ironing only for certain clothes..tp, aku nyampah nak gosok yg bulky2 cthnya cam king size duvet cover..apatah lg baju2 opis my honey..lagila gua surrender..jgn suruh aku hoccay...mau kedut seribu..sedangkan baju sekolah bebudak, baju dlm rumah and our bedding set we all pon aku gosok just ala kadar..hy nak kejar masa sementara baby aku tak menguwek tiap kali aku nak wat kije..yg aku pasan sejak ade bb kecik..aku terpaksa jadi multi tasking n berkerja dgn 'super pantas'

4) bagi makan bebudak dgn syarat dorang mmg bersungguh nk makan...tapi, aku paling tak suke nak kene kemas dan mop makanan2 yg da berjatuhan kat lantai..dan aku paling anti ngan cicak2 yg kurang ajar..yg suka sgt nak berak2 kat our dinning area dgn tanpa berhemah altho my cleaner baru je lepas mopkan lantai aku..

5) mandikan baby..pakaikan losyen dan bedak JJ kat my baby..suka bau wangi baby slps mandi..

6) masukkan baju dlm mesin dan pusing mesin..tp, aku paling tak suka nak sidai kain baju yg bulky2..kat luar rumah..kes malas nak kelam kabut bila hari hujan..paling tak best, baju2 yg aku sidai..mulala nak gatal berterbangan bila ditiup angin yg mana aku terpaksa kene kutip dan cuci semula..

7) memasak yg simple2..tp, tak berapa nak happy nak stay lama2 kat dapur tanpa lap kaki..dan aku tak suka anak2 dok bermain air paip kat sinki dapur..plus, aku stress setiap kali melihat my new wet kitchen cabinet yg siap direnovate sblm aku melahirkan my baby..sgt2 disaster dan menakutkan...sejak kami tukar ke lantai tiles..mebe, sbb dlm tu sejuk..suke jek binatang2 nak bertengek maupon melepak kat situ..dan aku paling anti ngan sejenis serangga ala2 agas kecik yg suke berterbangan dan kendiannya hinggap di pinggan2 yg aku da cuci..sungguh tak hygenic g2...sbb, setau aku..agas kecik tu terjadi dr maggots...SO, YUCKS!

Day 39@69.4kgs..overall reduction..17.1kgs

Hari ni dah masuk hari ke-39 aku berpantang. Dan guess what..berat aku statik dah nak masuk 2 weeks..pada 69.4kgs..ade gakla sekali tu aku timbang..dpt berat 68.9kgs..sket aku punye girang..dok menjangkakan i can reduce more by the end of the week..tgk2 apa yg aku harapkan tidak sprt yg dijangkakan..coz berat aku naik semula fr 68.9 menjadi 69.4kg..tambah lagi 500g..mungkin juga method penjagaan makan aku tu silap..mana taknya..i was having my dinner dlm kul 7-8 pm..sedangkan waktu pantang si Mika..aku besa dinner at 6 pm..dinner aku kali ni agak lewat sbb sekalian aku nak turun bukakan pagar utk anak bujang aku..normally, i will have my noon sleep dlm kul 3-4pm..depends on situation..ade masanya..mmg aku tak tido disebabkan aku dok leka ngk tv or berlayar internet..

Awal2 pantang..ade gakla aku kkdg wat kije opis..esok nampaknya aku kene plan to settle apa2 yg patut di awal pagi..coz aku nak kene issue gaji for staff...dan nak kene check my assitant punye kije..sambil nak kene buat slip gaji for pekerja..i guess, this shouldnt take long for me to settle...lagipon aku da issue kwsp and socso pekerja till february..so, takdela aku nak kalut sgt..

Sebenarnya aku agak frust nonggeng gak..berat aku statik pada 69.4kgs..so, hari ni..aku tukar plan..dok makan biskut cicah milo je for my dinner..aku ingat..esok aku nak makan biskut cicah milo jugak..cume, aku nak makan epal sebiji sbg tambahan...jadi, kenela aku angkut epal dlm 1-2 biji sehari ke tingkat atas...nak tau jugak samaada dgn kaedah ini..aku leh susut berat..Mmg tensen tgk badan bulat depan cermin..mana taknya dgn ketinggian aku yg tak seberapa..mmg langsung tak balance ngan berat 69.4kgs..yg aku pasan..peha aku sket punya besar..sampai suar size 14 pon aku tak bule nak fit...kronik bukan?

Mcm2 hal....

Buat masa neh da few agents aku da ctc tuk supplykan aku maid..salah satu agent yg aku deal..mmg betul2 da buatkan aku bengang...aku tak paham, nape lately, org cepat sgt nak terasa ..cthnya my 1st CL..and now, my 1st agent..ntah hape2..cepat sgt derang neh sentap..

my 1st CL sentap wif me...dek mebe bengang, sbb pagi2 lagi somi aku da minta tlg dia buang sampah kat kitchen..plus mebe kot..dia terasa somi aku mcm sound dia pasal grill pintu belakang kami yg dia sokmo lupe nak kunci..yg aku heran..org zaman skrg..punyala charge kita sket punya over..tp, bila bab2 kije..sume pon nak berkira..walhal, katanya x-Shadira...kalu x-Shadira..sah2le dia mesti tau apa job scope diakan..ini idak, takat dan gitu jek dia wat kije..da duduk umah aku barang 3 hari..penyapu pon aku tak pernah nampak dia pegang..yg aku pasan, laki aku jekla yg kene susah payah dok layan anak2 4 org and also kemas2 umah siap mop lantai..

Tapi, yg herannya..anak2 aku pon aku langsung tak harap dia pegang...dia plak rasa mcm terbeban..sprt yg dia smskan pada aku..'susahla jaga pantang anak ramai'..

'Hello mak cik...spjg mak cik stay cn..anak2 sy yg lain takdek pon mak cik entertain melampau..in fact, aku tak pernah nampak pon..mak cik tu ade cebok, mandikan and tukarkan diapers anak2 aku yg lain...takkanla sbb dok tolong kami sidai dan angkat baju pon dia nak kecoh mcm ayam bertelur??...Sidai baju pon..kalu bule nak direquest..Kalu bule..bior ajek laki aku yg settle sendiri..dr ON Washing Machine sampaila sidai baju..walaupon..baju yg dipusing tu adalah baju aku...Pendek kata...bab nak melarikan diri dr job scope dia..sketla mak cik neh punya terror...Sblm amik duit deposit, siap cakap..tak kisahla nak tolong2..sbb anak aku ade 4 orang..sbb tu, dia tak dapat nak offer discount..kendian, bila da few days live in kat cn..mcm2 plak alasan tak berasas dia nak kasik...mcmnya, x sabo2 nak balik sebelum seminggu..peh2 charge aku rm500laknya tu for 4 days..walhal kije tak seberapa..takat dia massage jelah yg aku puas hati..dan lagi satu, mak cik neh kije agak mengikut masa sket..cume, kije dia tu..takat ala kadar sajela..takde aku nampak dia nak kemas or bersihkan bilik aku...mcm, kekdahnya...dtg umah as CL utk mengurut, tungku and oso masakkan utk aku..nak cuci baju aku and baby pakai tangan pon berkira..sedangkan dia pon tau..laki aku bukannya ade masa pon nak pusing mesin sentiasa..bila mak cik tu marah2 dlm sms as cengkononnya...nak settle masalah antara kami and dia..aku pon balas balik sms kat CL tu..dlm sms tu aku gitau mak cik tu..tak ada apa yg mak cik tu nak buat alasan nak marah2..sedangkan..sms aku sblm neh hanya bertanya..kalu dia tak free nak tolong aku masa tu..apela salahnya explain..dia ade hal nak dibuat..itu lom lagi..kkdg dia tinggalkan aku pi tungku sesorang..dgn alasan nak solatla..apela...pendek kata..kalu dia nampak aku serba serbi bole buat sesuatu sendiri..mmg dia let aku jek yg buat..in fact, pakaian dlm aku dlm pantang pon...dia tak rela nak cuci..aku yg cuci sendiri...knowing that she is kind yg berkira..aku pon da tahap malas nak layan..and then ricky punya ricky..ghupe2nya anak dia kene masuk lokap sbb pukul bangla...hati dia tak tenteram...tapi, kita lak yg kene tempiasnya...Bosan!

And now...it happened again..agent maid plak nak bengang ngan aku..dok sms..'lepas ni tak payah mintak maid lagi'..hello....tu ari..agent tu sendiri kata..kalu dia tak bule supply maid yg aku nak..dia akan return balik duit aku..now, bila aku ask for my money dgn alasan i need the money to pay my kids nursery..dia plak bule sms mcm tu..hampeh punya agent! dlm hati aku menyumpah..aku tak heranla hidup tanpa maid..it just matter, somi aku kalu bule prefer we hv maid...kalu bule nak 2 org lagik! tp, aku yg belum bersedia nak amik sampai 2 org..sbb, sorang pon aku da pening..inikan plak ade 2 org?? lagipon umah aku bukannya besar sgt...nama jek semi-D..tapi, bilik yg dipakai cume 2..yang lain2 da jadik bilik maid and oso store..kalu ikut cakap2 mak aku..mmg dia prefer aku anto anak2 kat nursery..memandangkan, skrg neh byk sgt isu maid yg lari..aku pon bole bayangkan betapa horrornya kalu anak2 aku yg kecik2 lagi 3 org tu ditinggalkan dgn maid...kkdg, aku mcm tak kisah pon..kalu takdek maid..berbelanja lebih sket utk cleaner..tapi, hati aku tak sakit...jiwa aku tenang..paling2 pon..aku akan rasa stress kalu anak2 aku sakit or bila ngk umah bersepah or baju berlambak2..kkdg aku fikir2 balik..biarla anak2 aku yg 1st, 2nd and 3rd masuk sekolah and tadika..supaya maid aku leh fokus utk jaga anak2 lagi 2 org..sbb, my baby da besar....

Day 12 Pantang@73.0kg..=Day 2 my new CL is on service..3 days she is here..

Berat aku da susut from 73.5kg to 73kg..aku tak sure samaada akan berlakunya penurunan lagi ataupon tidak slps ini..baru sat tadi aku mengkaji pattern penurunan berat badan aku sewaktu berpantang anak ke-4..dan mmg tak jauh beza..pada hari ke-12..aku akan susut ke 13kg..cume, utk pantang kali ni..aku susut lebih 0.5kg dr pantang yg sblmnya..actually, aku tak kisah pon dgn amount kg yg aku turun..sbb, aku aim nak susut lebih dr itu..maksudnya..biorla berat aku turun ke at least 65kg by 44 days of pantang..kalu dpt susut ke 62kg pon da alhamdulillah..kalu dpt turun ke 58kg..lagila aku sgt2 suka..tapi, aku malas nak mengharap..sbb, dr pemerhatian aku...aku mengalami fasa statik slps berlakunya penurunan sbyk 16kg..jadi, aku xmo ambitious sgt sbb aku takut..sekiranya aku akan terkecewa...kalu sekiranya penurunan berat aku lebih kurang sama mcm sblmnya..makanya by day 42 of pantang..mebe berat aku still pada 67kg..dan hari ke 55 akan turun lagi ke 65kg..itupon kalu aku jaga2 makan..kalu tak jaga makan...sah2le aku akan jadik gemuk gedempol..

My 5th child pantang progress Day 3 (78.9kg), 4(79.2kg), 5(77.4kg), 6(75.8kg), 7(74.5kg)..

Am monitoring my weight loss during my confinement day after having my 5th child...
The progress is as below..

Day Weight (kg)
3 78.9
4 79.2
5 77.4
6 75.8
7 74.5
8 74.4

Diam tak diam..da seminggu aku melalui proses berpantang...I was dicharged afer day 2 I had delivered my baby girl akak my 2nd doter and let me name her as Sara.. I was totally big, when I was pregnant with Sara..my final weight was about 86.5kg..I had triple double chin, big arms, butt and tights..but i dont even bother..feeling like, why must i be so in control with my eating routine when i was pregnant for this time?? as usual, i nibble sweet foods while i was pregnant as what i had experience with the rest of the child. i just cant live without chocolate and my eldest son even complained how big his mommy was..and keep telling to my hubby and my mom..the reason i was so big is because i was eating lots of chocolate..

i infact having on crave drinking starbucks..Javachip Frap..topped wif whipping cream..and as usual..my honey always splurge me with delicious foods and drinks that i wish to eat or to have..we in fact, had our Chendol at Pappa Rich (and tell you..how hate am I with the Chendol taste..sorry to say..it is tasteless...) and Uncle Hussin. At UH..I have my corn chendol serves fresh...but, again its not at all suit to my taste but at least far better than the one we had at PR.

Comparing to year 2010..it seems that I was down to 72 when i was in my day 8 of pantang..whereas fo this year 2012..i am at 74.4kg after day 8 i had my baby. but, in terms of weight loss reduction..i lost about 12.1kg this year..which is 1.1kg more reduction as compared to before. Perhaps it is because i was eating poridge most of the time since am having toothache fr a day before i begin to feel my pain of labour. My toothache infact..still continue till today..am looking fwd for more positive progress...in another 5-7 days time from now..sometimes, it can be so horror...to see yourself big in the mirror. i admit, still have my double chin. my arms and tighs still huge..

Welcome world my newborn baby..

Finally my 5th child is born after been 6 days overdue. I was blessed cause able to deliver my baby naturally without induction. I begin to feel the pain when my cleaner Ana was coming to our house to clean the house and after that Siti who came to finish the ironing task. After all, when the time, I start to feel my labour pain until the day the baby is arrived, my house already clean. It just matter, I havent had opportunity to tidy up my baby clothes..

The pain was coming on and off..mcm nak wee2...

TBC..

Reading Al-Quran for my baby in my tummy..

Baru aku sedar..betapa da lamanya aku tak membaca Quran..unlike my old days while preggy wif my 4 other child..kbykannya..kesemuanya...aku rajin gak bacakan derang Quran..especially..surah Maryam, Luqman, Yusuf, Taubah and Yassin..kesian jugak kat baby aku..sbb, baru neh hari aku kesempatan nak bacakan surah2 tersebut kat dia..and nyatanya..my baby is happy..she is moving in my tummy..while I was reading those surah to her...

Lately, my baby agak aktif bergerak..mebe, sbb aku pon mulai sihat..aku just berdoa..i will have a safe labour..tak perlu nak induce bagai..althou my gynae da suh kita menghadirkan diri to see her by 18th..ntahla..kalu ikut omputeh..derang tak kisah jek nak kita tunggu for 14 days..tapi, bila da duduk mesia..or da bila kita opt nak beranak swasta..mcm tak sabar2laks doktor tu nak induce kita..kkdg..lom masanya pon da disuh beranak..apedaaaaa...aku fahamla yg doktor2 neh tak nak amik risiko..tapi, masalahnya kat sini..aku sendiri pon da lupe ngan my last period date..main agak2 pakai scan..mana nak accurate..tul tak??

Ker aku sendiri yg nak tetapkan..bila aku should jumpa doktor menyerah diri? might be..lepas hari ke-9 or 10la kots..sbbnya, tak kose aku asik nak dok sepital dan asik nak kene seluk dgn nurse or doktor berulang2 kali..sampai aku penat..dan rasa mcm takde maknanya aku beranak kat swasta..kalu rasa terseksa sampai begitu sekali..

I-pad in my dream..

Tu dia..tahun 2012 sudah menjelang dan hampir telah berjalan selama 1/2 bulan..anak2 pon da makin membesar..dan makin pandai demand..demand secara tak sengaja kots..sbbnya, their cousins got i-pad as a present from their parents..wahhh, betapa bertuahnya bebudak zaman skrg kan..kan..kan..sebenarnya aku pon naek terkejut bila my niece dapat blackberry baru fr her parents...my GOD...they are so blessed and hopefully derang takkan hanyut dgn facility yg diberikan oleh their parents..

So, makanya my elder kids pon sama jugak..proposed nak i-pad..memula tu aku heran..bila Harris dok cakap..If Harris..

1) dapat no.1..i will get my i-pad..
2) dapat no.2..i will get my mini i-pad..
3) dapat no.3..ntah..aku pon tak ingat apa yg dihajati oleh dia...

Dan penyakit nak i-pad neh da berjangkit kat si Milan..yg dok nagging kat aku..yg dia pon sama nak i-pad..altho aku da tunjukkan dia...tablet leapster tuk bebudak kecik..dia mcm tak berapa nak minat..mebe, sbb..bentuknya tak sama mcm i-pad original..rega leapster yg aku dok ricky2 is around 460 gitu...and to stop my kids from keep nagging dok sebut i-pad setiap hari..makanya, i have set up to them certain conditions to be followed..barula, aku akan entertain or contemplating to buy them an i-pad..

Target for Harris..
1) Able to menghafaz surah hazafan Year 3-Al-fil, Al-Hamzah, Al-As& At-Takasur

Target for Milan...
1) Able to write and recognize small and big letters
2) Able to read and complete her EX-Ra book 3,4&5

Selagi above conditions are not being fulfilled..mommy will not entertain this i-pad request yer...

Teringat akan my x-bibik..

Ermmm, how long my x-bibik da meninggalkan kami?? since 24th of November..and now, we are nearly in mid January oredi..meaning dekat2 2 bulanla..tapi, aku rasa..tak sempat lagi duit tabungan si bibik tu abis...so, when should i've made in ctc wif her again?? perhaps after 3-4 mths...when my newborn baby is about 2 mths old..at least i have reasons to tell her, that am busy wif my family and only then i would be able to communicate wif her back..just to know whether she is still in Bandung as only that time..i would be able to print out all of her photos while she was here working wif us..and perhaps we can chat a bit..to tell her that our family is growing and the kids here are doing well..they've grown up and being more independent..my elder kids can wake up and bathe by themselves too..Harris is going to sekolah agama and sekolah rendah for full day..while milan..she is going to kindy...and back a bit later..so, eventhough my kids will count as 5..whoever being my maid wont feel that burden..because in the end, she only needs to look after solely my 3 younger kids..and 2 of them, so far as what i can see and observe they are well behaved and is under control..and i dont see my children as a clinging monkey...where my maid has all the times need to carry them here and there...its actually a big NO-NO for me...

People who is reading my en3..maybe will thought..why is that i need to contact my bibik back..although she has left all the pain to me and my family?? from my positive point of view..we can never know..whether we need her or not in future..even sometimes me and hubby is making joke about her..and as for me communicating with my old nannies and maid is all about to maintain the relationship..even until now..i still have made in ctc wif Nor..my ex-nanny..she is now mother of 3 kids..we're knowing each other..when she is still single and now her family is growing...

Being far away from someone who had present in yourself make yourself judge them better than they are in front of you...although my ex-bibik tu mcm bodoh sket..tapi, idakla sampai dia lari..cumenya, dia tu jenis cepat terpengaruh..

Monitoring my child progress..

Ari neh kami balik lambat ke rumah..lepas balik kije..amik Harris fr skool and then shoot to nursery to pick up our 3 other kids..and then terus ke Cziplee dok carik buku teks, muzik and oso latihan for Harris..selesai di Cziplee we had our dinner at KFC..sayang enough, akulak rasa tekak geli2 nak muntah lepas makan KFC walopon sblmnya mcm meroyan nak makan ayam dia..huhuhu...now, dalam kepala..i was thinking to have my last Starbuck JCF..or minum air orange-apricot di Secret Recepie..tak surela sempat ke idak..only God will know..tapi, dlm hati..aku still berharap..biarla tuhan berikan aku masa berehat for 2-3 days..sbb, aku mmg tak habis letih lagi..dgn segala urusan2 rumah, kuarga and oso opis...

As for today..oleh kerana da balik lambat..ditambahlaks..aku kene mengemas sket2..rumah yg da mula bersepah semula walo da dikemas oleh si Ana cleaner for 8 hrs on last Tuesday..balik dr umah si Idan..terus kami laki bini sibuk2 kemaskan anak2..suh bebudak mandi and tuko baju...bagi susu and let them tido..especially yg kecik2 dua di bawah...dan aku sempat gak sental bilik air tingkat bawah..mungkin sbb tu jugak..badan aku terasa mcm letih2...done cleaninhg the toilet..i was bringing mana2 bebarang yg perlu ke tingkat atas..i was relieved sbb da almost abis kemas bilik bebudak..only now, i have to kemas my own bilik..petang tadik pon..aku da mula sorting bebrg bibik baru and then continue till this nite..yg mana, aku da splitkan toileteries for her bila dia datang nanti...

Sempatla jugak aku monitor progress anak2 aku..as usual aku bising2 to my eldest..rush him to do his homework yg berlonggok..siap pesan lagi kat dia..lenkali if bawak buku..biorla lengkap ngan buku teks, buku aktiviti dan buku rampaian..supaya, biar siap kije di sekolah dan bukannya balik umah baru nak bersengkang mata sampai 12 malam nak siapkan kije2 sekolah..yg aku pasan..ni ari harris start does his homework kul 10.30 mlm..and only at 12.30 barula dia siap..sian..sian...itupon jenuh jugak..adela aku pi tunjuk2an apa yg patut..sbb, besala..syllabus makin lama makin tough...if the parents didnt help..sape lagi yg derang leh harapkan especially bab2 spelling neh...

Milan mcm besa suka main2..but, i can see that she is progressing..da tak mcm waktu dia 5 y.o..mebe, skrg dia da mentally prepared...penat jugakla aku bebel2 kat anak dara aku..sbb dia suke main2..dan mcm besa jugakla..when the time nak ngaja bebudak..mulala aku mcm nak kene high blood and nak marah2..sabo jelakan...harris was asking me..why didnt me being a teacher..mebe, sbb dia ngk aku ade potensi jadik cikgu..and i know almost everything..i was the one who is teaching him..and also her lil sister..kalu takat suku kata sempoi2..i know milan can read it..aku pon da mula follow up her Ex-Ra...now, dia dlm progress book 3,4&5..cumenya, dlm dia 6 tahun..mmg aku kene betul2 monitor her progress supaya she will not being left behind mcm tahun2 yg sblmnya..paling lawak is tahun lepas..when i was informed..she got no.8 in class..tapi, 8/12...tu dah kira mcm kedudukan corotlakan walopon her average is 80+..sabo jela aku..when i was coming to sign her report card..deep in my heart aku mmg terasa gile2..and mulala aku dok terpk..why cant Milan be like Harris? but, still in my mind..aku try berpk logik..yg Harris got strong foundation when he was in UK..in fact, aku pon usaha gigih jugak for him to get the concept as early as at his age was 5 y.o..so, bila sampai mesia..mmg Harris tak byk masalah..because he knows how to read BM through his phonics reading skill while he was in UK...

visiting my cousin...their newborn arrival..and labour experience..

Hari neh..aku sempat jugak akhirnya aku rumah Idan..visiting her wife..si Shidah and also their newborn baby..its been long time..i have made plan to see them..tapi, asik jek postpone..last2, managed to pay them a visit..and also kasik hadiah for baby...shidah was sharing me her experience being ceasered for her 3rd child..mau tak seriau dgr citer dia..haru..haru...

if other people telling me..they like being ceasered..tapi, lain lak kesnya ngan si shidah...takuttt......kesian jugak kat dia..mana taknya..dah merasa natural pain for labour..ngk2 terpaksa jugak ditolak ke bilik bedah...atas alasan..kepala baby senget...so, baby tak dapat nak kuar..

sblm balik..shidah was giving me..bunga akar fatimah..for air selusuh..tapi, akulak yg mcm seriau nak minum...rasa, dlm hati..baek jek aku minum air kelapa..drpd nak minum air akar fatimah..sbbnya??? setau aku..kalu salah time minum..silap2 hb..lain plak jadiknya...waktu yg sepatutnya banak..tak plak nanti kang kita neh beranak...as aku ingat lagi..citer kawan aku si ewin..she drank the air selusuh sblm kembang ke camne ek..tak pasal2..sakit banaknya jadik lain mcmla plak..

funny enough sedara mara aku berketurunan jawa..takdeklak praktiskan air selusuh segala..kbykannya kalu pantang harap telan jamu, pakai param and berpilis bagai termasuk berbengkung..takdenya nak bertangas..bertungku mcm adat org2 piau melayu..cume, aku jek yg dok buat jugak..sbb dok ikut2 dr my own reading..lawak gilekan...sama jugak bab2 makan dlm pantang..dr mak aku sampai ke mentua..sume pon main bedal..hahahahha...dan seingat aku...pantang yg paling worst..was during my 4th child..tak kose aku nak menahan nafsu tak minum air sejuk..ade gakle aku minum beberapa kali sip tuk hilangkan kempunan...

My new bibik..

I was told by my agent today..my new bibik will be expecting to arrive in Mesia by latest on 25th..but, i have no worries..as i oredi planned for having confinement lady during period of confinement..perhaps for 2-3 weeks..or shall i say dependent on my confinement lady availability..by right she should be free by 18th Jan..

I hope, there is no rushing for my bibik to stay in my hse while my CL is at home..nanti takdek place plak my bibik nak tido..so, harapnya my MIL will compromise and let my new bibik to stay at her home..sbb, i dont like the idea..outsider is living in the house together2 wif my bibik...coz, i dont like people to interframe my life yg boleh buatkan my bibik plak terlebih pandai or memandai2..am hoping..biorla she is being trainned in my MIL hse..and i dont really mind...kalu terpaksa my kids have to overnite at my MIL hse while my CL tendering her service..takat beza dlm 6 hari..apela sgtnya..biarla bibik tu belajar tatacara di rumah my MIL termasuk her expecting daily routine..

My EDD is today..

Today is my EDD-12.01.12..but yet, aku still tak rasa sakit2 lagi..byk lagi benda yg aku kene settlekan..sampai aku pon jadi naek bosan..and i dont really bother nak beranak cepat atau pon lambat..as am always overdue..dari anak no.1 hinggala yg ke-3...only yg ke-4 jek special case..i was having contraction a day earlier than my EDD..i think, it might be because...aku telah diurut oleh mak cik urut..dan urutan mak cik tu punyala sakit..tangkap urat segala..dan aku tak pernah rasa diurut sesakit itu..

Smlm, aku berkesempatan to see my gynae..and she was giving me chance to come back to see her again by 18th..and i hope...by weekend or early next week, i will begin to feel the pain and having a natural labour..i just hope..biarla kelahiran kali neh dipermudahkan..as what i had experienced wif Milan..i had my water bag naturally ruptured instead of its artificially broken...

Siapala yg tak suspen bila nak melahirkan..macam2 yg difikirkan..smcm dihantar menemui ajal..astagfirullahalazim..and harap2nya esok aku dpt pi beli Quran for mengaji..sbb, aku pon naek tak faham mana hilangnya buku2 amalan mengandung...yg biasa aku baca di saat2 aku preggy..

I'm having my personal cleaner

Aku kirakan my life is a bit settle down although living w/o bibik. my head feels light headed eventhough kondisi umah takdela seperfect sblm ini..I'm start working fr home..walaopon I cant really fully utilize my time memandangkan sering distracted dgn kerja2 umah yg lain...

But at least, it still not too bad having cleaner cleaning the house one or twice a week..sprtnya mcm takdek beza aje dgn keadaannya kalu kita ade bibik..rata2 bila aku ty kengkawan yg lain..derang takdepon mop lantai dan cuci toilet hari..kbykannya, hanya mop lantai dan cuci toilet tingkat bawah everyday dan looking after tingkat atas once or twice a week. Perhaps, this what I'm going to compromise if a new bibik is coming. Is either cleaning the toilet 3-4 times per week or only do ironing for baju2 tertentu unlike in the past..most of the time my maid has to clean the toilet, do the mopping dan mengosok kesemua baju daily. I probably going to compromise dr segi..if she needs to clean my room..then, I have to take turn to bathe my younger kids and cook for the whole family. Ada masa, perhaps, aku kene pejam mata, if bibik sleeps during day time, while my younger kids are sleeping so that she could energize to bring forward to perform the ironing work for the whole family clothes in the night time...benda2 neh sbnrnya bergantung..dan aku jugak depends pada keadaan bibik aku samaada orgnya suka amik kesempatan atau pon pandai mengambil hati...

life w/o bibik Part 2

Hari neh dah dikira cukup sebulan..we've been living w/o maid..ade pros and consnya life without stranger living in the hse..antaranya..

PROS
1) I know my kids better
2) My kids being more independent
3) I've got to be more active doing houseworks
4) I know how to appreciate people doing houseworks..most important thing, I know roughly when certain chores can be completed
5) I'm being more discpline..wake up early in the morning..buat keje umah dan pada masa yg sama nak uruskan hal ehwal memasak
6) We've got our privacy

CONS
1) Everywhere you go, kene bawak sekali semua bebudak
2) I find difficult to concentrate doing my office work unless I am in the office rather than at home
3) You have to spend more money for childcare and cleaner. Surely, cleaner quality work mmg tak bule dicompare ngan bibik sendiri

Cume apa yg aku bule katakan, having 4 kids in life..memerlukan kesabaran yg tinggi...perhaps, sbb aku pon baru nak membiasakan diri ngan keje2 umah dan menguruskan anak2..ditambah lagi plak, aku sdg sarat mengandung..menunggu hari utk melahirkan..Otherwise, aku tak nampak di mana susahnya...itupon, kalu ikutkan...dlm kebiasaannya aku akan start buat keje2 umah dlm 7.30 pagi...dan mebe, utk masa akan dtg..I have to wake up a bit early utk memasak..

Bila difikir2 balik..x-maid aku bole jugakla diharap dibuat keje..cumenya, dia tu lembap sket..dan buat kije ikut mood dia..ade masanya bule siap cepat..dan ade masanya dok siap lambat...tapi, yg aku pasan..dlm dia smgt nak renew her ctrct wif me..by 11 dia da dan siap wat keje2 menggosok dan have her own time at 11 or 11.30p.m. Itupon, disebabkan oleh kkdg dia lambat naik tingkat atas utk mula menggosok baju...Kalu ikutkan, for our new bibik..bole jek, aku nak compromise for her to rileks on the day time..tapi, wat keje2 menggosok di malam hari..Kalu ikut standard si Siti (my cleaner)..sebakul setengah baju dia leh siap dlm masa 3 ke 3.5 jam..So, by right kalu baju yg nak digosok tu tak byk..mebe dlm 2 ke 2.5 jam maid baru aku tuh leh siap wat menggosok sume baju..

life w/o bibik..

Its been almost 3 weeks we are living w/o bibik. So far so good. Altho rasa mcm leceh sket..but, we've got our privacy and I'm not need to feel stress sbb asik nk kene follow up org or memikirkan pasal permasalahan maid yg kebiasannya timbul dr semasa ke semasa..

Pendek kata, aku redha our bibik leaving d she..altho the way she opts to discontinue her service lebih kpd sikap dia yg mementinglkan diri sendiri..but, I can simply imagine mesti akan byk lg halnya yg timbul andai she is allowed to return and coming back to Mesia agaian. After all, we thanked for her service.

Buat masa neh, mmg rumah tak perfectly clean.m!ut, I simply don't complaint..w/pon penat..I just take it as part of my daiy exercise and getting to know my kids..I found it is very fun to have 4 kids around..dan aku x tasanya ianya suatu yg membebankan..w/pon terkadang I hv to clean the floor everytime they have their meal..

The most touching..my elder kids seem memahami..as this morning, my girl automatically telah bangun tido and was asking whether she needs to bathe herself..and I told her YES..and at the same time i remind her too for tidy up her bed and watching tv area. There is no more, the kids simply pretending they can't wake up..but, they more at best make an attempt to show to their mom that they are independent enough..

Harris final exam result-Average 89.6

Aku da dapat result keseluruhan Harris..as per below..

Maths 92
BM Objective 85
BM Penulisan 87
English 96
Science 88
PI 86
B.Arab 80

Average inc PI&BA = 87.7
Average exc PI&BA = 89.6

Terus-terang aku mmg frust dgn keputusan Harris. Aku frust sbb, everytime final exam is coming..he will not that perform..tapi, w/ bagaimanapon..aku tetap bersyukur sbb Harith scores straight As for all subjects..sbg seorang ibu hanya sekadar redha..mebe bukan rezeki utk kami anak beranak..sbb, setau aku in order to get no. 1,2,3..you have to be in average of 90 plus..Harris byk buat careless mistake kali ni..including..

1) kat kertas soalan bulat jawapan lain..dan kat kertas jawapan..pi hitamkan jawapan lain
2) salah pengiraan...5+4=10?? mak cik sgt da tu!
3) gambo da terang2 si A lebih taller dr si B..dia leh jawab..si A is shorther than si B?? so, mabuk bukan??

kkdg aku rasa mcm..ntah apa2 je malaysian education system neh..buat syllabus punya habis advance..mana taknya..aku sendiri yg dah ade PhD cam terdiam sebentar nak jawap soalan Science anak aku...baik soalan homework or exercise..mahupon soalan final exam..aku rasa, ade 2 soalan dlm paper science yg misleading..if in the situation am the one who needs to sit for the exam akan mcm terkial2 nak jawap soalan...atau anak aku sebenarnya yg tak berapa paham jawab soalan??

pada aku..melihat dr paper exam si Harris..bebudak skrg kene ade skill pahamkan soalan..kalu tak paham soalan..makanya..langsung tak bule nak jawap...

Harris progress-final exam and Milan's current education progress

Final exam is coming again...summary of Harris performance is as below:

Maths 92
BM Objective 85
BM Penulisan 87
English
Science
Agama 86
B.Arab 80

Average tak dapat ditentukan lagi. Overall as per to date he scores A in all subjects..tinggal nak tunggu English and Science. Aku tak letak harapan tinggi for him to score for Science..sbb, aku ngk dia cam confuse2 jek ngan subject Science..as for BI..yesterday da dapat 1 paper..dia salah 2 soalan..makanya, perhaps..the maximum he can go..dalam 96 gitu..i was hoping for him to maintain an average of 90+ for 5 subjects..tapi, kalu da suratan menyatakan Harris will ONLY score an average of 85+..aku skdr redha..

On our way to send Harris to school dia pon ade citer..his friend was asking him..why is that his result kian merundum..i think its all about..:
1) Harris da malas belajar and hook very much with lappy or GAME at home
2) Harris da overconfident..because he thinks he could get no.1 without studying based on her performance in early and mid exam..score dapat no.3 kemudian no.2..so, derang jangkakan..dgn hanya main game...he could manage to get no.1..apa punya hypothesis daaaaaaaaaaaaa............

Apa2pon, aku tetap bersyukur..if Harris can score all straight As..sbb, aku pon tak sangka dia bule dapat OK for Agama and Arab..walhal belajar last2 minute sahaja..kalu nak banding Maths yg da habis kitaorg pulun sakan..perhaps, for next year kene usaha lebih gigih for BM..Harris ade masalah dlm imbuhan..banyak soalan imbuhan yg dia salah selain dr dok buat careless mistake..

As for Maths..Harris ade buat careless mistake gak..yelah, how come 4+5 equals to 10?? langsung tak betullakan...sabo jelaha...

This week is Milan's exam week..aku tak push dia pon..or even temankan dia belajar..pandai2la dia nak score..mebe, sbb aku rasa...she still young..apekehenya nak press budak 5 tahun nak belajar over2 sgt..paling2 at home, aku akan monitor her reading progress...both BM & BI..alhamdulillah..buat masa ini...dia da mula kenal huruf..cumenya, dia ade sedikit masalah nak menulis dgn sendirinya A-Z..kebiasaannya..dia akan miss 1-2 alphabets..dr segi suku kata..alhamdulillah dia da mulai kenal suku kata..both BM & BI..skdr yg simple2 ajela..sbb, dia pon nak cater reading skill sekali 2 bahasakan..kalu nak compare ngan si abang..memangla tak tercompare..sbb, kalu kat UK..bebudak 5 tahun sudah semestinya dah kene pandai membaca mengikut kaedah phonics...Btw, wat setakat ni..aku rasa mcm agak lega sket..sbbnya, Milan dah mulai pandai blend words tak kira in BM & BI..walopon kkdg my doter ade mcm 'short circuit' sket..almaklumla..my gegirl nikan mood orgnya..