Am a total loser..

I am an idiot! coz failed to fulfill my evening mission for only taking fruits for dinner. I was a real loser coz couldnt help to overindulge myself and rein my passion towards foods...I am totally hopeless...All these while I was abusing myself by binging forbidden foods and now my weight has hell creeped to 57kgs..Only this morning, I managed to find my weight has gone down to 56kgs after my yesterday hard work to control my desire by taking just FRUITS for my dinner..What a tough job...Sometimes, I may sound childish, always thinking delicious food in my mind...but this is something that I shouldnt be blame alone...coz I was born to always enjoy foods at big portion...How I wish, I could turn back my clock in my teens when I was a skinny and perfectly curve lil girl..

I have never thought that I am really a plum girl until my lil brothers kept talking to me..how big my bum is...and even worse they thought I was about 60-65kgs by the fact I was just only 54-55kgs ...Of course, I feel so bad to hear their critism...but, at least...I know I should not always in my comfort zone thinking I am just OK..and shouldnt be bother about losing any fats for more...

I was maybe too excited cooking this evening...We had nasi goreng sea food, tom yam sea food, nasi putih and kailan ikan masin..its quite long time we havent had proper dinner...so, when the dishes are a bit variety...I was like...couldnt help myself from having them more and more...I was done well in the afternoon...but normally fail in the evening because its very tempting to see everbody is eating while you have to restrain yourself...It is a tough job though...I wish I could do well...

Doesnt mean am not blessed with my weight right now...but it seems all my jeans have turned tight...let my legs suffocate and restless all the times...So, why should buy more jeans at bigger size...since seems to me..it just encouraging yourself to put more weight rather than make yourself in control...Hope could do better for tomorrow....................................